Tim Laughlin (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
holyposition) wrote2024-06-13 06:55 pm
holyposition) wrote2024-06-13 06:55 pm
IC Inbox
WELCOME TO THE SALTBURNT NETWORK
USERNAME:
t.laughlin
text ❖ audio ❖ video
WELCOME TO THE SALTBURNT NETWORK
USERNAME:
t.laughlin
text ❖ audio ❖ video
I'm afraid of you getting involved and getting hurt.
Do you really think - this is what I want?
Do you really think - this is what I want?
I think that you don't think I can handle myself. That after the wolf thing, I'm gonna pick the most dangerous option. But I'm not. I know I got lucky.
If what you're doing is as important as you say, you need support. You pretend you don't, but you do. You said yourself that you can't handle any more, so let me help you. I haven't forgotten how to be careful just because some things are different here.
If what you're doing is as important as you say, you need support. You pretend you don't, but you do. You said yourself that you can't handle any more, so let me help you. I haven't forgotten how to be careful just because some things are different here.
Edited 2024-09-04 04:04 (UTC)
i’ll do my best to keep koby busy :)
enjoy the room as long as you like
if you need us you know to call
enjoy the room as long as you like
if you need us you know to call
i need you to give me something a little more challenging than that. i do that on the daily, thank you.
It's not supposed to be a challenge.
I'm happy for you
I'm happy for you
he's kind.
and i'm glad you've taken good care of him. he deserves good and kind friends.
and i'm glad you've taken good care of him. he deserves good and kind friends.
It feels like you two are the ones taking care of me.
But thank you.
But thank you.
It's not just about being careful, Tim! Christ, don't you get that? I wish it was that goddamn simple every night.
It's about - it's about keeping you away from this so I don't have to worry I'm gonna lose you for good. I've already fucked it - us - all up, but I'd rather have that and know you're safe and as far away from this as possible than the alternative. We might be far from Washington, but the politics, the danger, the stakes - they're still just as high for me here.
It's about - it's about keeping you away from this so I don't have to worry I'm gonna lose you for good. I've already fucked it - us - all up, but I'd rather have that and know you're safe and as far away from this as possible than the alternative. We might be far from Washington, but the politics, the danger, the stakes - they're still just as high for me here.
[ Their conversation has been anything but light, all revelations of shared pain and impossible longings, but her laugh puts a smile on his face that usually isn’t possible when he’s like this. The pain should be felt, he believes, rather than glossed over, it’s the only way to take the lessons that he’s meant to. Tim has long since rationalized being able to love a man, decided for himself that love cannot be a sin in order to have a single waking moment where he doesn’t feel hellfire licking at his feet, but loving the wrong one, giving him the kind of single-minded devotion that should be reserved only for God, only to be abandoned when he is no longer convenient, should hurt. Let the puncture wounds in his heart be a lesson.
And yet, despite his tendency and even his desire to wallow in it, he can’t help but feel some relief with her smiling up at him, reaching up to straighten his glasses and pull him inside. The space suits her more than Tim’s current situation (hiding in Koby’s room) suits him, makes him wonder briefly if he’ll ever be brave enough to go back to his own room, purge it of Hawk’s influence and make it his own again. That landmine of dark thoughts is just barely avoided by Alicent’s offer. ]
Oh, no, you don’t need to do that. [ He waves the suggestion away, casual, as he finds a seat for himself. ] It’s late, I don’t need anything. I just wanted to see you. Make sure that you’re...okay?
And yet, despite his tendency and even his desire to wallow in it, he can’t help but feel some relief with her smiling up at him, reaching up to straighten his glasses and pull him inside. The space suits her more than Tim’s current situation (hiding in Koby’s room) suits him, makes him wonder briefly if he’ll ever be brave enough to go back to his own room, purge it of Hawk’s influence and make it his own again. That landmine of dark thoughts is just barely avoided by Alicent’s offer. ]
Oh, no, you don’t need to do that. [ He waves the suggestion away, casual, as he finds a seat for himself. ] It’s late, I don’t need anything. I just wanted to see you. Make sure that you’re...okay?
Not right now you wouldn't. Why do you think I left - our room?
It's not because I wanted to. It's not because I was scared or didn't want it.
I've got no other options right now, Tim.
It's not because I wanted to. It's not because I was scared or didn't want it.
I've got no other options right now, Tim.
I don't know Hawk, because you won't tell me! That's the point!
I believe that you believe that, because you're stubborn. But I don't think it's true. We would be safer, stronger, and happier if we were together.
Let's say you finish whatever dangerous thing you're doing. We move in together again, everything is great for a few weeks. What happens when the next messed up thing happens? And the one after that? You'll leave every time and insist on handling it yourself? I can't live like that.
I believe that you believe that, because you're stubborn. But I don't think it's true. We would be safer, stronger, and happier if we were together.
Let's say you finish whatever dangerous thing you're doing. We move in together again, everything is great for a few weeks. What happens when the next messed up thing happens? And the one after that? You'll leave every time and insist on handling it yourself? I can't live like that.
...You're right.
Maybe this isn't the best way to protect you in the future. It won't be any more fair to you if it happens again than it is now. You don't deserve to live like that, and I don't want to put you through it.
But right now - I can't risk it. I can't give up the idea that if I let you in and something happens to you...I can't, do you understand? And you're - digging in your heels, dead set on proving me wrong anyway.
At least think about what I said - about that guy. Please, Skip.
Maybe this isn't the best way to protect you in the future. It won't be any more fair to you if it happens again than it is now. You don't deserve to live like that, and I don't want to put you through it.
But right now - I can't risk it. I can't give up the idea that if I let you in and something happens to you...I can't, do you understand? And you're - digging in your heels, dead set on proving me wrong anyway.
At least think about what I said - about that guy. Please, Skip.
I'm right but you're doing it anyway?
If you were where you're supposed to be, I wouldn't have time to get involved with anyone, much less supposed blackmailers.
If you were where you're supposed to be, I wouldn't have time to get involved with anyone, much less supposed blackmailers.
You're insinuating you'd rather get involved with a blackmailer than listen to me.
Blackmailer at best, by the way. Who knows what other sick shit is going on.
Blackmailer at best, by the way. Who knows what other sick shit is going on.
I'm not involved.
"Who knows?" You shouldn't say things like that if you're just speculating.
"Who knows?" You shouldn't say things like that if you're just speculating.
I'm not speculating! I've got cold hard facts: he followed someone around for weeks, waited for them to do something - that ought to stay private and now he's blackmailing and threatening to spill the beans.
But if that's the kind of guy you want to go getting involved with, wouldn't be much of a stretch past your pal Joe after all.
But if that's the kind of guy you want to go getting involved with, wouldn't be much of a stretch past your pal Joe after all.
How many times do I have to say I'm not involved? It's just on the phones, okay? I'm not meeting him anywhere, I'm sitting on the bed by myself, and it'll stay that way.
My pal Joe? I can't believe you would still say that to me.
You're the one assuming he's doing more than blackmail. If you don't have evidence for that, you're not so unlike McCarthy yourself.
My pal Joe? I can't believe you would still say that to me.
You're the one assuming he's doing more than blackmail. If you don't have evidence for that, you're not so unlike McCarthy yourself.
Good. I hope it does. If you were smart - you'd skip the phone too.
Incriminating photos, threats, blackmail - that's not enough for you to pull together a concrete conclusion? I thought you'd learned a thing or two by now. This isn't pulling at straws like one of those goddamn show trials - this is happening here and it's real.
Incriminating photos, threats, blackmail - that's not enough for you to pull together a concrete conclusion? I thought you'd learned a thing or two by now. This isn't pulling at straws like one of those goddamn show trials - this is happening here and it's real.
I know he's not your pal. I got...carried away.
I believe you, okay? But you're acting like he's about to lure me into a dark alley and murder me. That's a big jump from blackmail.
Yeah, you did. And what else?
Yeah, you did. And what else?
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