Tim Laughlin (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
holyposition) wrote2024-06-13 06:55 pm
holyposition) wrote2024-06-13 06:55 pm
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WELCOME TO THE SALTBURNT NETWORK
USERNAME:
t.laughlin
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WELCOME TO THE SALTBURNT NETWORK
USERNAME:
t.laughlin
text ❖ audio ❖ video
[ The tiniest turn of his lips, an amused huff. That’s...halfway to getting it. More like a fifth. In any case, ]
I will not command you, either. That’s the point I’m trying to make. It’s better when both people want it.
[ In terms he thinks Aemond might actually understand: ]
It’s more fulfilling to receive something from a loved one or an ally as a gift than it is to take it. Just as I would happily share the food from my cupboards with you, but I'd be disturbed if you stole it in the night. To share of your own will builds trust. Trust builds intimacy. It’s better that way. The bond is stronger, and the pleasure greater.
I will not command you, either. That’s the point I’m trying to make. It’s better when both people want it.
[ In terms he thinks Aemond might actually understand: ]
It’s more fulfilling to receive something from a loved one or an ally as a gift than it is to take it. Just as I would happily share the food from my cupboards with you, but I'd be disturbed if you stole it in the night. To share of your own will builds trust. Trust builds intimacy. It’s better that way. The bond is stronger, and the pleasure greater.
[ when both people want it. ]
Is that not just an accord? That is no different from a manipulation. You find use and value in a joining is more worthy than desire for its own sake.
[ the inculcation of the faith of the seven runs deep in aemond, do not doubt it even if he says otherwise. he was raised in it, steeped in it from when he was still in his mother's womb; he could no more escape its reach than he could pretend to be anything but a targaryen.
every fight against his mother's faith is a conscious one, but it is both religious bias and hatred for women that raised him. ]
You have my trust. You ask me to give more of it to you. You want me to ask for it from you.
[ he understands. but at the same time, he doesn't. which is why it's perhaps very telling when he says; ]
You do do not just ask for these things, Laughlin.
Is that not just an accord? That is no different from a manipulation. You find use and value in a joining is more worthy than desire for its own sake.
[ the inculcation of the faith of the seven runs deep in aemond, do not doubt it even if he says otherwise. he was raised in it, steeped in it from when he was still in his mother's womb; he could no more escape its reach than he could pretend to be anything but a targaryen.
every fight against his mother's faith is a conscious one, but it is both religious bias and hatred for women that raised him. ]
You have my trust. You ask me to give more of it to you. You want me to ask for it from you.
[ he understands. but at the same time, he doesn't. which is why it's perhaps very telling when he says; ]
You do do not just ask for these things, Laughlin.
Desire for its own sake is...fleeting.
[ And as he says, he doesn't want to be a passing fancy. Not as a lover, not as a brother, and not as a friend. Tim looks for things that he can lose himself in completely, for substitutes to worship that will actually talk back to him. He talks to God every day, but it's the men talking in circles back in his room while he and Aemond bicker than answer his prayers. ]
I want to feel a connection more than I want to get off. I don't think that's manipulative.
[ Tim shakes his head, softly. He doesn't want Aemond to ask for anything he doesn't want to receive. ]
You can. If you want them. You're safe with me.
[ And as he says, he doesn't want to be a passing fancy. Not as a lover, not as a brother, and not as a friend. Tim looks for things that he can lose himself in completely, for substitutes to worship that will actually talk back to him. He talks to God every day, but it's the men talking in circles back in his room while he and Aemond bicker than answer his prayers. ]
I want to feel a connection more than I want to get off. I don't think that's manipulative.
[ Tim shakes his head, softly. He doesn't want Aemond to ask for anything he doesn't want to receive. ]
You can. If you want them. You're safe with me.
You want love commingling with your lust. You invite your own ruin this way, for it is a weakness of flesh.
[ now who sounds like a religious nut? he's gone quiet, however. gotten small, in his own way. ]
I am never safe. Nor am I wanted. [ he doesn't want to talk about this anymore. his gaze slowly drifts aside, sharpening at a point somewhere behind tim. ] Do brushes have straps usually, in these gardens?
[ now who sounds like a religious nut? he's gone quiet, however. gotten small, in his own way. ]
I am never safe. Nor am I wanted. [ he doesn't want to talk about this anymore. his gaze slowly drifts aside, sharpening at a point somewhere behind tim. ] Do brushes have straps usually, in these gardens?
[ ...Hard to argue. Tim would rather be celibate than be driven by lust without connection to go with it. It doesn't have to be love, necessarily - not anymore, not now that he's sullied himself by offering his body to devils, not when he's still picking up the pieces of the oft-shattered part of him that believes he can be loved at all. ]
Believe it or don't. But that's what family means to me. You invited it.
[ And if he didn't want it? He shouldn't have done it so hastily. No takebacks.
Tim turns quickly on his heel, squinting at something poking out from a bush. He can't fit his glasses properly around the mask, so he's got them on a string around his neck like his grandmother. He raises them so he can actually see more than ten feet from his face. ]
...No, they don't.
Believe it or don't. But that's what family means to me. You invited it.
[ And if he didn't want it? He shouldn't have done it so hastily. No takebacks.
Tim turns quickly on his heel, squinting at something poking out from a bush. He can't fit his glasses properly around the mask, so he's got them on a string around his neck like his grandmother. He raises them so he can actually see more than ten feet from his face. ]
...No, they don't.
[ aemond struts over to the brush, crouches down, and perhaps with more force than someone should, he snaps off parts of the shrubbery to loosen what seems like a saddle bag, but made miniature. there is a long thin strap made of some polished leather, the ends attached to rings sown into the corners of the bag.
it's fairly weighted, for something so quaint.
aemond holds it out for tim to take and inspect. ]
I imagine you'll be more familiar with the contents than I. There is a metal clasp of some sort holding it closed.
it's fairly weighted, for something so quaint.
aemond holds it out for tim to take and inspect. ]
I imagine you'll be more familiar with the contents than I. There is a metal clasp of some sort holding it closed.
Edited 2024-10-10 15:10 (UTC)
[ Thing is, Tim doesn't actually know Parisa more than simply in passing, the recognition of another who has been here since the beginning. The only thing that identifies it as hers are a couple hairs stuck in the bag's zipper, which he removes carefully as he opens it, holding them up to the light to try to tell whether they're black or brown. Black, he thinks. ]
We have her phone, a perfume, and a bunch of garbage.
[ The phone has a passcode lock. He'll start trying random combinations. ]
I don't know how useful it'll be, but maybe someone who actually knew her could tell us.
We have her phone, a perfume, and a bunch of garbage.
[ The phone has a passcode lock. He'll start trying random combinations. ]
I don't know how useful it'll be, but maybe someone who actually knew her could tell us.
I was strangled almost the death, and I'm the one being summoned?
Unlock the door.
[ why is he so threatening all the time? likely because the chances of fingers being pointed to him again is high, having given threat to paul atreides loud and clear in a room of witnesses. partly also because the only other family he has here that he might have some kindness for has been killed for doing what was just and fair.
mainly because he doesn't know how to express worry in any way that isn't soft or gentle or sweet, and tim is sworn to his blood. blood of his blood, fire from flame.
when aemond strides into tim's room, he's wasting no time in setting the man's notes aside and pulling tim away for inspection. ]
[ why is he so threatening all the time? likely because the chances of fingers being pointed to him again is high, having given threat to paul atreides loud and clear in a room of witnesses. partly also because the only other family he has here that he might have some kindness for has been killed for doing what was just and fair.
mainly because he doesn't know how to express worry in any way that isn't soft or gentle or sweet, and tim is sworn to his blood. blood of his blood, fire from flame.
when aemond strides into tim's room, he's wasting no time in setting the man's notes aside and pulling tim away for inspection. ]
[ He's got some bumps and scrapes, but the most obvious is the red welt that goes around his entire neck like a collar. Tomorrow it'll be purple. Tim submits to Aemond's inspection, pulling his shirt collar out of the way as need be. ]
Thanks for coming to see me.
[ His speech and breathing are both scratchy and labored. ]
Thanks for coming to see me.
[ His speech and breathing are both scratchy and labored. ]
Mhm. Don't speak.
[ his fingers are uncharacteristically gentle, pressing at the tenderness of the livid bruise around tim's neck. nothing feels broken so far, but— ]
You must alert someone if you feel some lightness to your head or extremities. Some injuries only make themselves known once your body forgets its fear.
Swallowing will be difficult for a while. Take off your shirt.
[ his fingers are uncharacteristically gentle, pressing at the tenderness of the livid bruise around tim's neck. nothing feels broken so far, but— ]
You must alert someone if you feel some lightness to your head or extremities. Some injuries only make themselves known once your body forgets its fear.
Swallowing will be difficult for a while. Take off your shirt.
[ He winces slightly at the touch, the mark on his neck still tender where Aemond touches him. It's softer than the way he was handled the other day, and Tim notices, likes to think it's because he took his words to heart then, instead of just pity.
As requested, he keeps quiet and pulls his shirt off. Some more bruises and scrapes on his back and shoulders sustained as he was dragged, a deeper one on his chest that's been bandaged up already, taped into his chest hair. ]
As requested, he keeps quiet and pulls his shirt off. Some more bruises and scrapes on his back and shoulders sustained as he was dragged, a deeper one on his chest that's been bandaged up already, taped into his chest hair. ]
[ chest hair. it feels truly stupid to find himself drawn to the sight of it, knowing many men have it — but rare is the targaryen who is hirsute. even daemon keeps his face clean, and aemond's own father only kept the most polite of beards for a short period, before sickness made grooming immaterial.
either way. aemond traces the drag marks and the cuts, imagines the paths that were taken to cause them. gravel cuts, perhaps; most do not look like finger scrapes. ]
You should shave. Hair gets into the cut, it could cause an infection. [ his fingers linger over the cut on tim's chest, pressing down on the bandage. ] You likely know that.
Well, you're not dying. You can put your shirt back on.
either way. aemond traces the drag marks and the cuts, imagines the paths that were taken to cause them. gravel cuts, perhaps; most do not look like finger scrapes. ]
You should shave. Hair gets into the cut, it could cause an infection. [ his fingers linger over the cut on tim's chest, pressing down on the bandage. ] You likely know that.
Well, you're not dying. You can put your shirt back on.
I don't need to shave, we were careful.
[ Tim notes the capital-L Looking, but leaves it be, too worn out to tease. ]
I need to find who did this.
[ Tim notes the capital-L Looking, but leaves it be, too worn out to tease. ]
I need to find who did this.
Whoever attacked you will likely try again. You could just wait for them to come to you.
[ aemond even helps with the shirt, if it's giving tim some trouble. see, he can be helpful. ]
Put some distance between yourself and the hurt. The cold of vengeance provides clarity.
[ aemond even helps with the shirt, if it's giving tim some trouble. see, he can be helpful. ]
Put some distance between yourself and the hurt. The cold of vengeance provides clarity.
[ He sighs, puts his arms up, letting Aemond help him. His bedside manner could be better, but it's the thought that counts. He'll remember. ]
I want him caught. Not strung up on the grounds.
I want him caught. Not strung up on the grounds.
You would reward him for his daring? The jail cells are likely better furnished and safer. The house wants us to strike back.
[ he could be wrong; he's handling tim like he's handling his sister's children, which is that he's oddly careful so that their small and fragile limbs don't snap off in his grip. tim isn't a small child of four, but he's also currently injured. he's not in pain now; his blood is up enough that it shields his mind from it.
but later — later, the full brunt of his injuries will creep in, and they will be harder to ignore. ]
The fewer players there are to mind, the faster this game will end.
[ he could be wrong; he's handling tim like he's handling his sister's children, which is that he's oddly careful so that their small and fragile limbs don't snap off in his grip. tim isn't a small child of four, but he's also currently injured. he's not in pain now; his blood is up enough that it shields his mind from it.
but later — later, the full brunt of his injuries will creep in, and they will be harder to ignore. ]
The fewer players there are to mind, the faster this game will end.
Alia's guilt was confirmed because we voted for her. If you--
[ He coughs, and reaches for a glass of water he has on his bedside. The adrenaline is starting to wear, the soreness setting in. ]
If you take it into your own hands, we'll never know for sure.
[ He coughs, and reaches for a glass of water he has on his bedside. The adrenaline is starting to wear, the soreness setting in. ]
If you take it into your own hands, we'll never know for sure.
You can know for certain and still kill your attacker. The gods gave you hands to take your justice if you need it.
[ aemond is no help with the water, but he does offer a steadying hand when tim starts to drink, just so the glass doesn't tip over and spill water all over the man. if aemond seems weirdly adept at handling a person like an invalid — well, sometimes his mother's not around to mind their father.
(and sometimes, he wonders what it would take for viserys to trip over himself and break his own neck.) ]
Some people deserve to die, Tim Laughlin.
[ aemond is no help with the water, but he does offer a steadying hand when tim starts to drink, just so the glass doesn't tip over and spill water all over the man. if aemond seems weirdly adept at handling a person like an invalid — well, sometimes his mother's not around to mind their father.
(and sometimes, he wonders what it would take for viserys to trip over himself and break his own neck.) ]
Some people deserve to die, Tim Laughlin.
I don't believe that.
[ As firm as he can be, with his voice shot from the strangulation. Tim takes the hand that's offered to him, grasping firm, pleading. ]
Alia wasn't in control of it. Whoever came for me probably wasn't, either. Your anger ought to be with the house.
[ As firm as he can be, with his voice shot from the strangulation. Tim takes the hand that's offered to him, grasping firm, pleading. ]
Alia wasn't in control of it. Whoever came for me probably wasn't, either. Your anger ought to be with the house.
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