Tim Laughlin (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
holyposition) wrote2024-06-13 06:55 pm
holyposition) wrote2024-06-13 06:55 pm
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WELCOME TO THE SALTBURNT NETWORK
USERNAME:
t.laughlin
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WELCOME TO THE SALTBURNT NETWORK
USERNAME:
t.laughlin
text ❖ audio ❖ video
As I said. My brother and I had a talk.
[ about their responsibilities, about their standing, about how their mother had brought them up to be stronger than what the rest of the realm expects them to be, because their future will always be in contest with rhaenyra pressing her claim. and she had been right. always, often, even when her actions falter in their execution.
alicent hightower was queen for decades. her loyalty to family was never in question. aegon was right to remind aemond of what has been sacrificed to put him on the throne. what aemond himself had done, and what he must continue to do. how he cannot allow to be anyone else, even in a place where nothing remains the same for too long. ]
I promised that I would give what I can, so long as you accept that my family will always come first. I call on that promise now.
My mother needs me. My brother. I cannot remain split in my loyalty. I relieve you of me.
[ about their responsibilities, about their standing, about how their mother had brought them up to be stronger than what the rest of the realm expects them to be, because their future will always be in contest with rhaenyra pressing her claim. and she had been right. always, often, even when her actions falter in their execution.
alicent hightower was queen for decades. her loyalty to family was never in question. aegon was right to remind aemond of what has been sacrificed to put him on the throne. what aemond himself had done, and what he must continue to do. how he cannot allow to be anyone else, even in a place where nothing remains the same for too long. ]
I promised that I would give what I can, so long as you accept that my family will always come first. I call on that promise now.
My mother needs me. My brother. I cannot remain split in my loyalty. I relieve you of me.
Edited (phrasing) 2025-01-10 19:01 (UTC)
Relieve me? Aemond--
[ Tim shifts, as if he means to step towards him, but stops himself in his tracks, pinching at the bridge of his nose in frustration. This, again? ]
You don't have to be split, I'm not asking you to choose me over any of them. [ The way you did, he doesn't add, the venom kept at bay by his affection. ] I promised too, remember? I don't know how else to prove to you that it isn't a burden. I've never complained about any sacrifice I've made for you, so what makes you think I need relieving?
[ He'd have been within his rights to. Sacrificing one of his closest friendships, betraying Alicent and hurting her the way he had - nothing she'd done to him during her vampire rampage could make up for that. Tim has been at his beck and call, refusing him nothing except for senseless violence, keeping secrets that curdle inside him like old milk, dropping everything for him, when he was mourning. Not one complaint to anyone. ]
[ Tim shifts, as if he means to step towards him, but stops himself in his tracks, pinching at the bridge of his nose in frustration. This, again? ]
You don't have to be split, I'm not asking you to choose me over any of them. [ The way you did, he doesn't add, the venom kept at bay by his affection. ] I promised too, remember? I don't know how else to prove to you that it isn't a burden. I've never complained about any sacrifice I've made for you, so what makes you think I need relieving?
[ He'd have been within his rights to. Sacrificing one of his closest friendships, betraying Alicent and hurting her the way he had - nothing she'd done to him during her vampire rampage could make up for that. Tim has been at his beck and call, refusing him nothing except for senseless violence, keeping secrets that curdle inside him like old milk, dropping everything for him, when he was mourning. Not one complaint to anyone. ]
I asked nothing of you. Not even with the secrets you hold that could kill me, I ask nothing of you, because I have trusted you to hold true to your word. I call on it now.
You told me you would have me as I am. This is as I am.
[ family would know the weight of his intimations regarding daemon. family would kill him for it, knowing what has happened, the lives that have been taken on both sides. ]
I release you of your promises to me, and hold you no longer. You have my gratitude for all that you've given.
You told me you would have me as I am. This is as I am.
[ family would know the weight of his intimations regarding daemon. family would kill him for it, knowing what has happened, the lives that have been taken on both sides. ]
I release you of your promises to me, and hold you no longer. You have my gratitude for all that you've given.
No.
[ He approaches now, fists clenched at his side. This is how I am, again, as if he's an animal with no free will of his own, a prince (no, regent,) and dragonrider devoid of any agency. Tim doesn't accept it. He can't accept it. His heart pounds in his chest, that tingle of unease breaking free into something darker and uglier. Anger. ]
You don't get to dismiss me like I'm a servant. [ Brown eyes ablaze, close enough to see Aemond with clarity. Treacherous. Cowardly. ] If you don't want me, be a man and tell me so. Don't frame it like you're doing me a favor.
[ He approaches now, fists clenched at his side. This is how I am, again, as if he's an animal with no free will of his own, a prince (no, regent,) and dragonrider devoid of any agency. Tim doesn't accept it. He can't accept it. His heart pounds in his chest, that tingle of unease breaking free into something darker and uglier. Anger. ]
You don't get to dismiss me like I'm a servant. [ Brown eyes ablaze, close enough to see Aemond with clarity. Treacherous. Cowardly. ] If you don't want me, be a man and tell me so. Don't frame it like you're doing me a favor.
Well, I was basically naked.
[ It's good right now that he's smaller, at least for him, who doesn't pay any mind to the idea of being stifling or too much, instead turning on his side and wrapping an arm around Koby's chest like a teddy bear. A friendly intimacy, and an invitation into his space, as his presence is more frequent in Koby's than the other way around. ]
Aww, you were probably cute in a suit.
[ It's good right now that he's smaller, at least for him, who doesn't pay any mind to the idea of being stifling or too much, instead turning on his side and wrapping an arm around Koby's chest like a teddy bear. A friendly intimacy, and an invitation into his space, as his presence is more frequent in Koby's than the other way around. ]
Aww, you were probably cute in a suit.
Were I to treat you as a servant I would not bother speaking with you at all. You confuse yourself about me. Perhaps that is my mistake, in not having made clear who I am.
[ he sees the reproach now, and wonders if tim has ever truly understood the honour that aemond has given him. if he has ever thought to wonder about the worth of the concessions aemond has made in silence to please him. tim claims to have never complained, but here he stands throwing it back to aemond's face when aemond calls on the oaths long given, promises aemond has not faltered in keeping true.
he gives only what he gives, and accepts only what is given. he asks no further, demands no further. he has never been anything but himself, and now that his less pretty, gentle parts are given light, tim recoils entire. ]
Your way then. I do not want you.
Return to your man, Laughlin, you are dismissed.
[ he sees the reproach now, and wonders if tim has ever truly understood the honour that aemond has given him. if he has ever thought to wonder about the worth of the concessions aemond has made in silence to please him. tim claims to have never complained, but here he stands throwing it back to aemond's face when aemond calls on the oaths long given, promises aemond has not faltered in keeping true.
he gives only what he gives, and accepts only what is given. he asks no further, demands no further. he has never been anything but himself, and now that his less pretty, gentle parts are given light, tim recoils entire. ]
Your way then. I do not want you.
Return to your man, Laughlin, you are dismissed.
[ It's the coolness of it all that bothers him more than anything else. He says it so easily, as if all of this has meant nothing, as if he feels nothing. That can't be true. He's held this man as he's confessed to his darkest moments, invited him in to help him mend after Eddie's attack, seen the ferocity with which he's insisted on Tim's protection. He knows that Aemond is not unfeeling. Something's gotten into him, and he's getting to the bottom of it. ]
You're lying. Or you have been, until now. Which is it?
[ Needling, looking for a reaction, any reaction, that isn't cold and stoic. Tim can't be that way. He's never even tried, useless as he knows it would be. He feels too deeply, gets attached too quickly. He blinks back tears as he presses on, itching for a raised voice in response, a fight, anything. ]
I thought I had a man, right here in front of me. But you're just a boy pretending, aren't you?
You're lying. Or you have been, until now. Which is it?
[ Needling, looking for a reaction, any reaction, that isn't cold and stoic. Tim can't be that way. He's never even tried, useless as he knows it would be. He feels too deeply, gets attached too quickly. He blinks back tears as he presses on, itching for a raised voice in response, a fight, anything. ]
I thought I had a man, right here in front of me. But you're just a boy pretending, aren't you?
[ here he is, aemond targaryen the one-eye, the kinslayer. tim laughlin would not have survived a fraction of what aemond has, and he would dare insult him so. does he think aemond unable to see through the attempt? when his own mother has torn him apart in nearly every way she could, just to remind him of his youth?
tim will not yield to grace, that much is clear, and aemond tires of it all. with casual disregard aemond hums, steps around tim and walks away.
there is nothing for him to say, and nothing for tim that he will hear. ]
tim will not yield to grace, that much is clear, and aemond tires of it all. with casual disregard aemond hums, steps around tim and walks away.
there is nothing for him to say, and nothing for tim that he will hear. ]
[ he wants to laugh, and almost does, rubbing blearily at his eyes. ]
If Ash had any sense, he would have by now.
[ instead, he gave him a ring, the ring that embry has wondered about for years and years since he turned it down, twice, chaining him to his side. there's no other future he wants, and yet he's less deserving of it now than he was the first time, and he was hardly deserving of it then, either. ]
I don't know. Both, I think. [ a pause, as hawk's corpse flashes through his memory. ] I don't think anyone who's died should've really come back. Because there might be something wrong with all of us. If I believed in souls, I would say they're damaged in a way that probably can't be repaired. Now I don't know what to believe, since I also don't believe in crawling out of your own grave.
What the hell happened to you, Tim? If you're not gonna tell me, just say you're not gonna tell me. Though you're an asshole for it, because you know I'm not the one having pillow talks around here.
If Ash had any sense, he would have by now.
[ instead, he gave him a ring, the ring that embry has wondered about for years and years since he turned it down, twice, chaining him to his side. there's no other future he wants, and yet he's less deserving of it now than he was the first time, and he was hardly deserving of it then, either. ]
I don't know. Both, I think. [ a pause, as hawk's corpse flashes through his memory. ] I don't think anyone who's died should've really come back. Because there might be something wrong with all of us. If I believed in souls, I would say they're damaged in a way that probably can't be repaired. Now I don't know what to believe, since I also don't believe in crawling out of your own grave.
What the hell happened to you, Tim? If you're not gonna tell me, just say you're not gonna tell me. Though you're an asshole for it, because you know I'm not the one having pillow talks around here.
You were in Otherworld. That's sort of the point of it, there.
[Koby's caution relents a bit when Tim tugs him closer, mostly worried about aggravating his injuries, but taking cues from his affection. One hand moves, smooths Tim's hair back from his forehead, slowly, again and again, a soothing, repetitive gesture.]
If you think penguins are cute, maybe. It was almost a relief when it melted. We all got dared to do different things by this big...New Years ball thing. I got lucky, I just had to answer questions honestly. Some people had to go down on each other or do other things, right in front of everyone. [He prattles on, trying to be distracting, comforting, silly and mindless. Tim's lingering horror, fear, pain is still tangible, especially this close, and Koby can feel his injuries, the throbbing wound in his neck, the ache in his head. He can feel the need to think about something, anything else.]
[Koby's caution relents a bit when Tim tugs him closer, mostly worried about aggravating his injuries, but taking cues from his affection. One hand moves, smooths Tim's hair back from his forehead, slowly, again and again, a soothing, repetitive gesture.]
If you think penguins are cute, maybe. It was almost a relief when it melted. We all got dared to do different things by this big...New Years ball thing. I got lucky, I just had to answer questions honestly. Some people had to go down on each other or do other things, right in front of everyone. [He prattles on, trying to be distracting, comforting, silly and mindless. Tim's lingering horror, fear, pain is still tangible, especially this close, and Koby can feel his injuries, the throbbing wound in his neck, the ache in his head. He can feel the need to think about something, anything else.]
I am at last myself.
[ an echo, the meaning changed by all she returned from. death, undeath, war. ]
If you would see me, I have much to apologise for.
[ an echo, the meaning changed by all she returned from. death, undeath, war. ]
If you would see me, I have much to apologise for.
Edited 2025-01-11 17:02 (UTC)
[ So immediate that she may not have even put the phone down yet. ]
I'm glad to hear that.
I'd like to see you. I think I left my glasses in your room.
Not just for that, obviously. At least I hope that's obvious.
Yes. Whenever you want.
I'm glad to hear that.
I'd like to see you. I think I left my glasses in your room.
Not just for that, obviously. At least I hope that's obvious.
Yes. Whenever you want.
[ Tim chuckles at that, already regretting the thought for being mean-spirited, but every so often, the self-deprecation can be charming. If he happens to agree ahead of time. This isn't so horrible, he thinks, probably still delirious from knocking his head on that table. As far as Embry showing up in his room in the middle of the night, probably the best possible scenario. ]
...yeah. [ Quietly agreeing, settling back against the pillows and reaching for the cross nestled in his chest hair, twisting it absent-mindedly around his finger. ] I thought this was purgatory, for a long time. And then you were killed, and Danny didn't go anywhere. If we're here to cleanse our souls, and we choose instead to murder people, that should be the answer, right? You should leave, you should go to Hell. So... [ With a sigh. Let's not talk about how this applies to Hawk, too. ] I don't know what to believe, either.
I'll tell you. But not right now. [ When Alicent is normal again, when it's not as good as sending him out to meet the same abuse. ] But you're the asshole, sleepwalking into my room and demanding answers.
[ There's no anger behind it. But be serious. ]
...yeah. [ Quietly agreeing, settling back against the pillows and reaching for the cross nestled in his chest hair, twisting it absent-mindedly around his finger. ] I thought this was purgatory, for a long time. And then you were killed, and Danny didn't go anywhere. If we're here to cleanse our souls, and we choose instead to murder people, that should be the answer, right? You should leave, you should go to Hell. So... [ With a sigh. Let's not talk about how this applies to Hawk, too. ] I don't know what to believe, either.
I'll tell you. But not right now. [ When Alicent is normal again, when it's not as good as sending him out to meet the same abuse. ] But you're the asshole, sleepwalking into my room and demanding answers.
[ There's no anger behind it. But be serious. ]
You know I don't go down there if I can avoid it.
[ And it seemed important, then. The resurrections, the reveals, the puking in the bathroom once he realized that it was Eddie instead of Danny who almost killed him. You know. Important. ]
Of course I think penguins are cute. Who doesn't?
[ It's working. Koby's good at soothing him in a way that many who try are not - they're similar enough that if Koby can remain calm, then it feels safe for him to do the same. ]
...did you have fun?
[ And it seemed important, then. The resurrections, the reveals, the puking in the bathroom once he realized that it was Eddie instead of Danny who almost killed him. You know. Important. ]
Of course I think penguins are cute. Who doesn't?
[ It's working. Koby's good at soothing him in a way that many who try are not - they're similar enough that if Koby can remain calm, then it feels safe for him to do the same. ]
...did you have fun?
It's not purgatory. You can't make excuses for the same behaviors that you know would happen back home, if people could get away with it. [ brows pinched, he looks away. ] That includes me. I'd have gone after Danny for stalking me if I wasn't being watched by the Secret Service every hour of the day. I haven't become a different person here. I've always been exactly the kind of man you see.
[ warped and empty, born without a conscience or a heart or a soul. tim couldn't be further away on the spectrum, a heart too big and too forgiving, one that will always, always get hurt. ]
"The devil stands ready to fall upon them and seize them as his own, at what moment God shall permit him." [ embry looks up, meeting tim's eyes. ] Jonathan Edwards. And no, I don't believe this shit. I just read a lot. But it feels like something else has a hold of me, when I'm just — gone. I close my eyes and I wake up and I'm somewhere I don't remember going, having done something I don't remember doing. Ending up with you was the best I could hope for.
[ he stands abruptly, as if remembering that he is somewhere he never intended to be, and tim did say hawk should be back any minute — exactly the last person he wants to see. ]
Yeah, sure. Do you want me to get anything for you before I go?
[ warped and empty, born without a conscience or a heart or a soul. tim couldn't be further away on the spectrum, a heart too big and too forgiving, one that will always, always get hurt. ]
"The devil stands ready to fall upon them and seize them as his own, at what moment God shall permit him." [ embry looks up, meeting tim's eyes. ] Jonathan Edwards. And no, I don't believe this shit. I just read a lot. But it feels like something else has a hold of me, when I'm just — gone. I close my eyes and I wake up and I'm somewhere I don't remember going, having done something I don't remember doing. Ending up with you was the best I could hope for.
[ he stands abruptly, as if remembering that he is somewhere he never intended to be, and tim did say hawk should be back any minute — exactly the last person he wants to see. ]
Yeah, sure. Do you want me to get anything for you before I go?
It's not so bad if it's like...on a date. [Going by himself would be different, would probably result in Koby's awkwardly wallflowering like he had when he'd first arrived. Having Quentin there provides a security, a safety that Koby's come to depend on. Also yes, he likes to see his boyfriend having a good time, so sue him.]
They're okay. I prefer ducks, if we're talking about birds. [We know, Koby.
He stays calm, he breathes in, out, stays solid and secure and safe, feeling out what's helping, what's soothing -- haki's good for a lot of things, but being able to read the subtle shift in emotions, being able to actually help the unhelpable was...up there.]
Yeah. I had fun. It was nice to just sort of talk to people, hang out with them. It would've been more fun with you, though.
They're okay. I prefer ducks, if we're talking about birds. [We know, Koby.
He stays calm, he breathes in, out, stays solid and secure and safe, feeling out what's helping, what's soothing -- haki's good for a lot of things, but being able to read the subtle shift in emotions, being able to actually help the unhelpable was...up there.]
Yeah. I had fun. It was nice to just sort of talk to people, hang out with them. It would've been more fun with you, though.
[ !!! ]
You did.
I've done a poor job fixing them, but I shall bring them with me, anyway.
[ taped at the bridge... wonky angled... ]
Perhaps I could meet you at the chapel. I know you've resumed your comings and goings there.
You did.
I've done a poor job fixing them, but I shall bring them with me, anyway.
[ taped at the bridge... wonky angled... ]
Perhaps I could meet you at the chapel. I know you've resumed your comings and goings there.
It was thoughtful to try.
Hawk fixed it up for me. Gutted everything and modernized it a little bit. You'll like it.
I can be there whenever you like.
Hawk fixed it up for me. Gutted everything and modernized it a little bit. You'll like it.
I can be there whenever you like.
That was good of him.
[ awkward in her sincerity, an unfamiliar way of maneuvering after so long pretending. ]
I can be there within the hour. Aegon had Lady Stark sew some lovely gowns, for my return. And Aemond and Lestat helped right the mess I made of my room, in my ruinous state.
[ an unspoken question: who righted the mess i made of you? ]
[ awkward in her sincerity, an unfamiliar way of maneuvering after so long pretending. ]
I can be there within the hour. Aegon had Lady Stark sew some lovely gowns, for my return. And Aemond and Lestat helped right the mess I made of my room, in my ruinous state.
[ an unspoken question: who righted the mess i made of you? ]
Edited 2025-01-13 10:57 (UTC)
Good. I'm glad you had help.
if you find my letter
just ignore it. it was a waste of time. I'll see you soon, okay?
[ Tim has settled back into familiar routines, spending time at the chapel again, so it's easy to meet her there. It looks different, the flooring switched out and the pews stained darker, the light fixtures more modern and bright, Hawk's touch to make it all seem a little less gloomy. He's happy with the changes, has tasked himself again with custody of this place, sweeping up dust and keeping things shining.
It gives Tim something to do. He doesn't do well with idleness, he can't help but find something to fill that hole, whether it's good for him or not. As weary as he's been these last few days, this is good. Having this positive outlet returned is the best gift that Hawk could have given to him. ]
Hi. Thanks for coming.
[ Through tired eyes, he smiles at her, throwing the rag he's been using to wipe down the windows over his shoulder. The bruises are fading, but he wears a turtleneck anyway, as he did during the latter half of the werewolf games. Tim chose to keep the scar from her fangs rather than injest Louis' blood that would have healed it, but it's covered, so she won't feel any worse about it. ]
I know it's stupid to ask how you're feeling, but I don't know what else to...um, I'm happy to see you. Really.
if you find my letter
just ignore it. it was a waste of time. I'll see you soon, okay?
[ Tim has settled back into familiar routines, spending time at the chapel again, so it's easy to meet her there. It looks different, the flooring switched out and the pews stained darker, the light fixtures more modern and bright, Hawk's touch to make it all seem a little less gloomy. He's happy with the changes, has tasked himself again with custody of this place, sweeping up dust and keeping things shining.
It gives Tim something to do. He doesn't do well with idleness, he can't help but find something to fill that hole, whether it's good for him or not. As weary as he's been these last few days, this is good. Having this positive outlet returned is the best gift that Hawk could have given to him. ]
Hi. Thanks for coming.
[ Through tired eyes, he smiles at her, throwing the rag he's been using to wipe down the windows over his shoulder. The bruises are fading, but he wears a turtleneck anyway, as he did during the latter half of the werewolf games. Tim chose to keep the scar from her fangs rather than injest Louis' blood that would have healed it, but it's covered, so she won't feel any worse about it. ]
I know it's stupid to ask how you're feeling, but I don't know what else to...um, I'm happy to see you. Really.
[ truthfully, he hasn’t completely let go of the purgatory theory. There's a part of him that counters his own argument, that says God’s own reasoning for doing what He does is not for Tim to know, that it’s hubris to assume that his mortal notions of logic or reason should have anything to do with His divine will. There’s another part of him that wishes desperately to be wrong, to think it can be possible to take this temporary happiness and bring it home, make it truly real.
It’s been six months. It’s starting to feel like they’ll never know for sure, and the ache in his head is too strong in the wake of Alicent’s beating to contemplate it any further. ]
Thanks, I guess. [ Tim’s not interested in fighting or fucking him, so it probably is the best case scenario. ] Will you tell me if it happens again? Maybe we can figure out a pattern, or something.
[ He doesn’t want to keep him, especially since he hadn’t intended on dropping by in the first place, but he gives an honest answer, waving vaguely towards the bathroom door. ]
A couple aspirin, if you don’t mind? They’ll be in the medicine cabinet.
Have a good night, Embry.
It’s been six months. It’s starting to feel like they’ll never know for sure, and the ache in his head is too strong in the wake of Alicent’s beating to contemplate it any further. ]
Thanks, I guess. [ Tim’s not interested in fighting or fucking him, so it probably is the best case scenario. ] Will you tell me if it happens again? Maybe we can figure out a pattern, or something.
[ He doesn’t want to keep him, especially since he hadn’t intended on dropping by in the first place, but he gives an honest answer, waving vaguely towards the bathroom door. ]
A couple aspirin, if you don’t mind? They’ll be in the medicine cabinet.
Have a good night, Embry.
I fear little survived my girlish tantrums.
[ so consider the letter binned, burned, trampled. ]
I’ll see you soon, Tim.
[ And despite the nerves gripping her, she dresses in a gown of dark teal from Lady Sansa, protected by her boys’ decision to hang them in her closet for her. Little kindnesses she thought them incapable of, in her lowest moments.
Before Tim notices her, she lingers at the back of the chapel and watches him from afar. Still strong, her Tim, his boyish sweep of hair unsinged by her fiery gaze. Since Embry’s death, Alicent has not set foot in this place, and she doubts she will return often, even as she surveys Hawk and Tim’s fine handiwork. Her faith has imprisoned her as much as her role. Maiden, mother, crone. She need kneel no longer. ]
I’m fine, Tim. [ A small, sad smile. Her voice scrapes her throat, burned by Alina’s sunlit blood and still healing. Though she keeps her distance. The hands that do harm lose the ability to heal, so she keeps hers clasped at her waist, glasses hooked on a dainty finger. ]
As I can be. [ She swallows hard, wincing slightly at the pain of it. ] I — I don’t wish to take up your time, but — I’m so terribly sorry, for all I said and did upon my return. [ Firmer, then, meeting his gaze. ] Know that you do not deserve such ugliness.
[ so consider the letter binned, burned, trampled. ]
I’ll see you soon, Tim.
[ And despite the nerves gripping her, she dresses in a gown of dark teal from Lady Sansa, protected by her boys’ decision to hang them in her closet for her. Little kindnesses she thought them incapable of, in her lowest moments.
Before Tim notices her, she lingers at the back of the chapel and watches him from afar. Still strong, her Tim, his boyish sweep of hair unsinged by her fiery gaze. Since Embry’s death, Alicent has not set foot in this place, and she doubts she will return often, even as she surveys Hawk and Tim’s fine handiwork. Her faith has imprisoned her as much as her role. Maiden, mother, crone. She need kneel no longer. ]
I’m fine, Tim. [ A small, sad smile. Her voice scrapes her throat, burned by Alina’s sunlit blood and still healing. Though she keeps her distance. The hands that do harm lose the ability to heal, so she keeps hers clasped at her waist, glasses hooked on a dainty finger. ]
As I can be. [ She swallows hard, wincing slightly at the pain of it. ] I — I don’t wish to take up your time, but — I’m so terribly sorry, for all I said and did upon my return. [ Firmer, then, meeting his gaze. ] Know that you do not deserve such ugliness.
Well, firstly, I always have time for you.
[ As has been the case since that ghastly bacchanal, and all the good and bad that’s followed, even when she’s cursed him for his boyish naivety and lack of forethought, in thinking that if he made enough sacrifices and concessions that he could be enough to save a prince from himself. If Alicent had called to him, even in anger, he would have run to her. Such is the bond they shared and the promises he made, the obligation one feels when he strips himself to dress the wounds of another.
Tim is cautious of being too familiar or approaching too closely, after the disasters of their last two meetings, but he does step forward, cautiously crossing the bridge. She does have his glasses in her hand, after all – and without them, from a distance he can’t tell what rough shape they’re in. His head tilts slightly, a hopeful dog, always seeking a pillow from the same leg that’s kicked him. ]
And I know you weren’t yourself. [ Warmly. It’s been a cold and difficult month. To have something familiar, the two of them here again, is a comfort. ] I forgive you. I mean, part of it I offered, but even the rest.
[ What’s a few moments of pain and fear if it might open the opportunity to make amends? He believes her. They had worked so well together during the wolf games because this is something they shared, a strong distaste for violence and an even stronger drive to put an end to it. No matter her frustration or feelings of betrayal, she wouldn’t have abused him so if she were in control, just as he didn’t tell anyone, refused to tell of the true scope of his pain by hiding its source, keeping more from running into sharp claws and fangs, whether with open arms or pitchforks. ]
I had to learn some hard lessons fast. [ A jagged smile, nearing on self-deprecating in a way that doesn’t truly suit him. It’s hard to make light of staring down death. It’s hard not to, when this place makes such a mockery of it. ] I won’t go so far as to say I’m grateful, but I’ve learned from it, and that’s better than most of the pointless chaos this place throws at us.
[ Caretaker of this chapel or not, he is no priest, Tim has no demands of prayer or penance for her. Only grace, only forgiveness, only regret for his own foolishness. ]
I'm sorry, too. [ Bitten nails rubbing at the new finish on the pew, an elegant dark mahogany. ] For everything with Aemond. I thought I could help, and everything just got worse for everyone. It’s over now, but I should have never let it get that far to begin with.
[ He wonders if she already knows that. If he’s regarded highly enough to even be worth a mention. ]
[ As has been the case since that ghastly bacchanal, and all the good and bad that’s followed, even when she’s cursed him for his boyish naivety and lack of forethought, in thinking that if he made enough sacrifices and concessions that he could be enough to save a prince from himself. If Alicent had called to him, even in anger, he would have run to her. Such is the bond they shared and the promises he made, the obligation one feels when he strips himself to dress the wounds of another.
Tim is cautious of being too familiar or approaching too closely, after the disasters of their last two meetings, but he does step forward, cautiously crossing the bridge. She does have his glasses in her hand, after all – and without them, from a distance he can’t tell what rough shape they’re in. His head tilts slightly, a hopeful dog, always seeking a pillow from the same leg that’s kicked him. ]
And I know you weren’t yourself. [ Warmly. It’s been a cold and difficult month. To have something familiar, the two of them here again, is a comfort. ] I forgive you. I mean, part of it I offered, but even the rest.
[ What’s a few moments of pain and fear if it might open the opportunity to make amends? He believes her. They had worked so well together during the wolf games because this is something they shared, a strong distaste for violence and an even stronger drive to put an end to it. No matter her frustration or feelings of betrayal, she wouldn’t have abused him so if she were in control, just as he didn’t tell anyone, refused to tell of the true scope of his pain by hiding its source, keeping more from running into sharp claws and fangs, whether with open arms or pitchforks. ]
I had to learn some hard lessons fast. [ A jagged smile, nearing on self-deprecating in a way that doesn’t truly suit him. It’s hard to make light of staring down death. It’s hard not to, when this place makes such a mockery of it. ] I won’t go so far as to say I’m grateful, but I’ve learned from it, and that’s better than most of the pointless chaos this place throws at us.
[ Caretaker of this chapel or not, he is no priest, Tim has no demands of prayer or penance for her. Only grace, only forgiveness, only regret for his own foolishness. ]
I'm sorry, too. [ Bitten nails rubbing at the new finish on the pew, an elegant dark mahogany. ] For everything with Aemond. I thought I could help, and everything just got worse for everyone. It’s over now, but I should have never let it get that far to begin with.
[ He wonders if she already knows that. If he’s regarded highly enough to even be worth a mention. ]
Yeah...Hawk’s taken me dancing there a few times.
[ It’s fine with a date, but when he shows up there without one, he tends to find one anyway. A stranger, a temporary comfort that turns sour in the light of day. He hasn’t sought out anything like that in months, at least – there's no need, while he’s content with the relationships in his life. Hawk and Koby and Quentin will all be there for him if he needs it.
Like now. Tim snuggles in closer still, laying his head on Koby’s shoulder. Not as roomy as what he’s used to, but cozy and calm, exactly what he needs. ]
I would have complained the second the clothes came off. Ruined everyone’s fun. I’ve got a new lookalike, it would have been embarrassing.
[ It’s fine with a date, but when he shows up there without one, he tends to find one anyway. A stranger, a temporary comfort that turns sour in the light of day. He hasn’t sought out anything like that in months, at least – there's no need, while he’s content with the relationships in his life. Hawk and Koby and Quentin will all be there for him if he needs it.
Like now. Tim snuggles in closer still, laying his head on Koby’s shoulder. Not as roomy as what he’s used to, but cozy and calm, exactly what he needs. ]
I would have complained the second the clothes came off. Ruined everyone’s fun. I’ve got a new lookalike, it would have been embarrassing.
Do you dance the same way I've seen you dance before? When you're tequila-tipsy?
[Koby's been the same, for the most part -- the crew, Tim, Quentin making up the center of his world, though a few other entanglements have experienced some...development lately. Case in point:]
You do, yes. I met him at breakfast the other day. He's very...effusive. [Charming, noisy, confidence projected to cover something, something that perplexed and compelled Koby.] But nice. I think you might get along, actually.
[Koby's been the same, for the most part -- the crew, Tim, Quentin making up the center of his world, though a few other entanglements have experienced some...development lately. Case in point:]
You do, yes. I met him at breakfast the other day. He's very...effusive. [Charming, noisy, confidence projected to cover something, something that perplexed and compelled Koby.] But nice. I think you might get along, actually.
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