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Tim Laughlin ([personal profile] holyposition) wrote2024-06-13 06:55 pm
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homosexuals: (pic#17307847)

[personal profile] homosexuals 2025-05-11 03:09 am (UTC)(link)
bet now you're really an angel

with pretty wings and a nice shiny halo and everything

except you should be here so i can tell you that to your face and watch the corners of your eyes crinkle up and your smile gets so sweet and wide i wonder how the hell you're not just sunshine personified
homosexuals: (pic#17307876)

a few hours later; voice

[personal profile] homosexuals 2025-05-11 03:24 am (UTC)(link)
[there are a few punctured breaths, like they're being pulled out of him with every heave and how audible they are. when hawk finally speaks, it's ragged and raw, like his throat is nearly hoarse even as the consonants still slur slightly at the ends.]

Tim...Tim.

[it's an acute kind of pain, one that's more than just skin deep. it feels like it aches down to his bones, twisting into his gut and reaching into his chest with an invisible hand around his heart and just squeezing it into a tender pulp. it doesn't matter how many texts he gets, or check-ins, or sympathy from his acquaintances - no one can fix this. no one can bring back tim now but the balfours, and even they've been mum other than platitudes that make him want to shatter every piece of ornate china and useless antiques in this fucking manor.]

I should have been there. I should have - christ, why didn't you try and reach me? I keep watching it, feeling every jagged piece of that fucking glass. In your throat, your lungs - baby, I feel every little bit of fear outta you and you still just - it happened so fast. I've watched it a dozen times, maybe, wondering who to blame.

Only one I keep comin' up with is myself.

I knew those goddamn lockets were trouble. Stupid, ugly little things, and now they've gone and taken my boy.

My boy - you, Skippy.

[there's a choked off noise, like he's trying to muffle what is unmistakably a sob. it carries on for a few moments until it's reduced to an interlude of half-grunts and clearing of his throat between tears still flowing, like he wants to stifle the emotion and can't. h]

My boy's dead. They took you from me.

I never even got to tell you, I -

[he still doesn't, not as it carries on. he's crying - an ugly thing that wracks through his entire body and doesn't stop until he apparently exhausts himself into a restless sleep.]
homosexuals: (pic#17302082)

the next morning - fin

[personal profile] homosexuals 2025-05-11 03:41 am (UTC)(link)
[there's a letter left under tim's glasses, the ones embry had carefully retrieved and deposited into his hands what feels like a lifetime ago, even if it's only been - how long has it been? the hours have blended together in a blur of alcohol and agony.]
𝑫𝒆𝒂𝒓 π‘»π’Šπ’Ž,

𝐼 π‘‘π‘œπ‘›'𝑑 π‘˜π‘›π‘œπ‘€ β„Žπ‘œπ‘€ π‘™π‘œπ‘›π‘” 𝑖𝑑'𝑠 𝑏𝑒𝑒𝑛, 𝐼 𝑗𝑒𝑠𝑑 π‘˜π‘›π‘œπ‘€ β„Žπ‘œπ‘€ 𝑖𝑑 𝑓𝑒𝑒𝑙𝑠 π‘€π‘–π‘‘β„Žπ‘œπ‘’π‘‘ π‘¦π‘œπ‘’.

π»π‘œπ‘›π‘’π‘¦, 𝑖𝑑'𝑠 β„Žπ‘’π‘™π‘™ π‘œπ‘› π‘’π‘Žπ‘Ÿπ‘‘β„Ž.

𝐼'𝑑 π‘‘π‘œ π‘Žπ‘›π‘¦π‘‘β„Žπ‘–π‘›π‘” π‘‘π‘œ β„Žπ‘Žπ‘£π‘’ π‘¦π‘œπ‘’ π‘π‘Žπ‘π‘˜. 𝐴𝑛𝑑 𝐼 π‘˜π‘›π‘œπ‘€ π‘¦π‘œπ‘’'𝑙𝑙 𝑏𝑒 π‘π‘Žπ‘π‘˜ - π‘¦π‘œπ‘’ 𝑀𝑖𝑙𝑙. π‘‡β„Žπ‘’π‘¦ π‘Žπ‘™π‘€π‘Žπ‘¦π‘  π‘π‘œπ‘šπ‘’ π‘π‘Žπ‘π‘˜, 𝑒π‘₯𝑐𝑒𝑝𝑑 π»π‘Žπ‘Ÿπ‘Ÿπ‘¦ - π‘π‘’π‘π‘Žπ‘’π‘ π‘’ β„Žπ‘’ π‘€π‘Žπ‘  π‘Ž π‘”π‘œπ‘‘π‘‘π‘Žπ‘šπ‘› π‘“π‘™π‘Žπ‘˜π‘’ π‘Žπ‘›π‘‘ π‘Ž π‘“π‘™π‘œπ‘’π‘›π‘π‘’. π‘‡β„Žπ‘–π‘  𝑖𝑠𝑛'𝑑 π‘‘β„Žπ‘’ π‘ π‘Žπ‘šπ‘’. 𝐼𝑑 π‘π‘Žπ‘›'𝑑 𝑏𝑒 π‘‘β„Žπ‘’ π‘ π‘Žπ‘šπ‘’.

πΉπ‘’π‘π‘˜, π‘†π‘˜π‘–π‘π‘π‘¦ - 𝐼 β„Žπ‘Žπ‘£π‘’π‘›'𝑑 𝑠𝑙𝑒𝑝𝑑 π‘Ž π‘€π‘–π‘›π‘˜. 𝐼𝑑'𝑠 π‘π‘œπ‘™π‘‘ π‘Žπ‘›π‘‘ 𝑖𝑑 𝑠𝑑𝑖𝑙𝑙 π‘ π‘šπ‘’π‘™π‘™π‘  π‘™π‘–π‘˜π‘’ π‘¦π‘œπ‘’ π‘œπ‘› π‘‘β„Žπ‘’ π‘π‘–π‘™π‘™π‘œπ‘€, 𝑒π‘₯𝑐𝑒𝑝𝑑 π‘¦π‘œπ‘’ π‘Žπ‘Ÿπ‘’π‘›'𝑑 π‘‘β„Žπ‘’π‘Ÿπ‘’ π‘‘π‘œ π‘“π‘Ÿπ‘’π‘ β„Žπ‘’π‘› 𝑖𝑑 𝑒𝑝. π‘Œπ‘œπ‘’'π‘Ÿπ‘’ π‘›π‘œπ‘‘ π‘‘β„Žπ‘’π‘Ÿπ‘’ π‘‘π‘œ π‘ π‘‘π‘–π‘π‘˜ π‘¦π‘œπ‘’π‘Ÿ π‘π‘œπ‘™π‘‘ π‘‘π‘œπ‘’π‘  π‘œπ‘› π‘šπ‘¦ π‘π‘Žπ‘™π‘£π‘’π‘  π‘Žπ‘›π‘‘ π‘šπ‘’π‘šπ‘π‘™π‘’ π‘–π‘›π‘‘π‘œ π‘šπ‘¦ π‘ β„Žπ‘œπ‘’π‘™π‘‘π‘’π‘Ÿ π‘Žπ‘›π‘‘ π‘π‘Ÿπ‘’π‘ π‘  π‘˜π‘–π‘ π‘ π‘’π‘  π‘Žπ‘”π‘Žπ‘–π‘›π‘ π‘‘ π‘šπ‘¦ π‘›π‘’π‘π‘˜ 𝑗𝑒𝑠𝑑 π‘π‘’π‘“π‘œπ‘Ÿπ‘’ π‘¦π‘œπ‘’ π‘‘π‘œπ‘§π‘’ π‘œπ‘“π‘“.

𝐼 𝑠𝑑𝑖𝑙𝑙 π‘‘π‘œπ‘›'𝑑 π‘’π‘›π‘‘π‘’π‘Ÿπ‘ π‘‘π‘Žπ‘›π‘‘ 𝑖𝑑, π‘€β„Žπ‘Žπ‘‘ β„Žπ‘Žπ‘π‘π‘’π‘›π‘’π‘‘ π‘œπ‘Ÿ π‘€β„Žπ‘¦. 𝐼 π‘‘π‘œπ‘›'𝑑 π‘˜π‘›π‘œπ‘€ β„Žπ‘œπ‘€ π‘‘π‘œ...𝑔𝑒𝑑 π‘ π‘œπ‘šπ‘’π‘‘β„Žπ‘–π‘›π‘” π‘π‘Žπ‘π‘˜ π‘“π‘œπ‘Ÿ 𝑖𝑑, π‘‘π‘œ π‘Žπ‘£π‘’π‘›π‘”π‘’ π‘¦π‘œπ‘’ π‘Žπ‘›π‘‘ 𝑓𝑖𝑛𝑑 π‘€β„Žπ‘œ π‘‘β„Žπ‘’ β„Žπ‘’π‘™π‘™ π‘ π‘Žπ‘€ π‘¦π‘œπ‘’ π‘œπ‘› π‘¦π‘œπ‘’π‘Ÿ π‘˜π‘›π‘’π‘’π‘  π‘Žπ‘›π‘‘ 𝑖𝑛 π‘‘β„Žπ‘’ π‘”π‘Ÿπ‘Žπ‘ π‘  π‘Žπ‘›π‘‘ 𝑗𝑒𝑠𝑑 𝑙𝑒𝑑 𝑖𝑑 β„Žπ‘Žπ‘π‘π‘’π‘›π‘’π‘‘.

𝐴𝑙𝑙 𝐼 π‘˜π‘›π‘œπ‘€ 𝑖𝑠 𝑖𝑑 π‘ β„Žπ‘œπ‘’π‘™π‘‘ β„Žπ‘Žπ‘£π‘’ 𝑏𝑒𝑒𝑛 π‘šπ‘’. 𝐼'𝑑 π‘‘π‘’π‘ π‘’π‘Ÿπ‘£π‘’ 𝑖𝑑 𝑖𝑓 π‘¦π‘œπ‘’ π‘π‘Žπ‘šπ‘’ π‘π‘Žπ‘π‘˜ π‘Žπ‘›π‘‘ β„Žπ‘Žπ‘‘π‘’π‘‘ π‘šπ‘’, 𝑏𝑒𝑑 𝐼 π‘ π‘’π‘Ÿπ‘’ β„Žπ‘œπ‘π‘’ π‘šπ‘Žπ‘¦π‘π‘’ π‘¦π‘œπ‘’ π‘€π‘œπ‘›'𝑑.

𝐼'𝑑 π‘‘π‘œ π‘Žπ‘›π‘¦π‘‘β„Žπ‘–π‘›π‘” π‘‘π‘œ β„Žπ‘Žπ‘£π‘’ π‘¦π‘œπ‘’ π‘π‘Žπ‘π‘˜. π΄π‘›π‘¦π‘‘β„Žπ‘–π‘›π‘”.

𝐽𝑒𝑠𝑑 π‘ π‘Žπ‘¦ π‘‘β„Žπ‘’ π‘€π‘œπ‘Ÿπ‘‘. π‘ƒπ‘™π‘’π‘Žπ‘ π‘’.

𝐼𝑛 π‘π‘Žπ‘ π‘’ π‘¦π‘œπ‘’ π‘€π‘’π‘Ÿπ‘’ π‘€π‘œπ‘›π‘‘π‘’π‘Ÿπ‘–π‘›π‘”, 𝐼'π‘š 𝑠𝑑𝑖𝑙𝑙 π‘¦π‘œπ‘’π‘Ÿπ‘ . 𝐼'𝑙𝑙 𝑏𝑒 π‘‘β„Žπ‘’π‘Ÿπ‘’ π‘€β„Žπ‘’π‘› π‘¦π‘œπ‘’ π‘π‘œπ‘šπ‘’ π‘π‘Ÿπ‘Žπ‘€π‘™π‘–π‘›π‘” π‘œπ‘’π‘‘ π‘œπ‘“ π‘‘β„Žπ‘’ π‘”π‘Ÿπ‘œπ‘’π‘›π‘‘, π‘Žπ‘›π‘‘ 𝐼'𝑙𝑙 𝑏𝑒 π‘‘β„Žπ‘’π‘Ÿπ‘’ π‘€β„Žπ‘Žπ‘‘π‘’π‘£π‘’π‘Ÿ β„Žπ‘Žπ‘π‘π‘’π‘›π‘  π‘’π‘£π‘’π‘Ÿ. 𝐼'𝑙𝑙 𝑏𝑒 π‘‘β„Žπ‘’π‘Ÿπ‘’ π‘‘π‘œ π‘’π‘Žπ‘‘ π‘‘β„Žπ‘Žπ‘‘ π‘π‘™π‘œπ‘œπ‘‘ π‘“π‘Ÿπ‘’π‘–π‘‘, 𝑒𝑣𝑒𝑛 𝑖𝑓 𝐼 π‘π‘Žπ‘› π‘Žπ‘™π‘Ÿπ‘’π‘Žπ‘‘π‘¦ 𝑑𝑒𝑙𝑙 π‘¦π‘œπ‘’'π‘Ÿπ‘’ π‘”π‘œπ‘›π‘›π‘Ž β„Žπ‘Žπ‘ π‘ π‘™π‘’ π‘šπ‘’ π‘Žπ‘π‘œπ‘’π‘‘ π‘šπ‘–π‘›π‘’. π‘Šπ‘’ π‘π‘Žπ‘› π‘‘π‘œ 𝑖𝑑 π‘‘π‘œπ‘”π‘’π‘‘β„Žπ‘’π‘Ÿ.

π‘†π‘œ π‘¦π‘œπ‘’ π‘”π‘œπ‘‘π‘‘π‘Ž π‘π‘œπ‘šπ‘’ π‘π‘Žπ‘π‘˜ π‘‘π‘œ π‘šπ‘’. 𝐴𝑛𝑑 π‘€β„Žπ‘Žπ‘‘π‘’π‘£π‘’π‘Ÿ π‘¦π‘œπ‘’ π‘‘π‘œ - π‘€β„Žπ‘’π‘› π‘¦π‘œπ‘’ 𝑔𝑒𝑑 π‘‘β„Žπ‘–π‘ , π‘π‘Ÿπ‘œπ‘šπ‘–π‘ π‘’ π‘¦π‘œπ‘’ π‘€π‘œπ‘›'𝑑 π‘€π‘Ÿπ‘–π‘‘π‘’.

𝒀𝒐𝒖𝒓𝒔,
π‘―π’‚π’˜π’Œ
vermax: (73 - xPTZJPO)

[personal profile] vermax 2025-05-11 11:41 pm (UTC)(link)
No boy his age would, though he was a man by our world's standards.

Baela? What secret do you bear? ( about his WIFE )
mygoodsir: (sadsir)

during death time

[personal profile] mygoodsir 2025-05-12 02:27 am (UTC)(link)
[Sent to Tim's phone (because he doesn't want to disturb Hawk by leaving anything physical) is a simple message. Normally he is far more loquacious, but the hurt is too big for words.]

Beloved Tim,

I am sorry I failed you.

I will be here when you return. Whatever you need, I will provide.

Your devoted
Harry
holyposition: (and fall twice as far)

[personal profile] holyposition 2025-05-12 05:54 am (UTC)(link)
I hope this isn't offensive, but in my time, we'd consider that...archaic.

I was a doctor during the games. But an ineffective one. I knew I should have saved her, but I didn't.
vermax: (46 - 80pSuBO)

[personal profile] vermax 2025-05-12 06:05 am (UTC)(link)
That having just passed four and ten years he was a man in the eyes of most? I’ve learned that not to take offense at what differences seem strange to others. In truth, I did not see him grown yet and I still petitioned that my mother send us as her messengers to her liege lords all the same.

If you knew, why didn’t you?
Edited 2025-05-12 06:06 (UTC)
holyposition: (and i spend my life)

[personal profile] holyposition 2025-05-12 06:16 am (UTC)(link)
I don't think older siblings ever see the younger ones as adults. My sister still treats me like a kid.

Baela, Alicent and I all worked together to find your killer. The wolves, I figured, would go for the people who were skilled in catching them. I knew that Hawk would protect me. So it was between Baela and Alicent. I chose wrong because I was closer with Alicent.
vermax: (11 - lSXZFoW)

[personal profile] vermax 2025-05-12 06:42 am (UTC)(link)
I suppose not. I cannot imagine what little Egg or Vis will be like as men grown or if I will see them as such.

Alicent had others able to protect her. Had Baela not earned your trust?
holyposition: (and i'm gonna cry about it)

[personal profile] holyposition 2025-05-12 06:51 am (UTC)(link)
The only ones who could actually offer protection were the doctors. Hawk was going to choose me every time, there was no dissuading him. Shanks was going to protect his crew, Paul was going to protect Alina. That left me and Bella. I convinced her to protect Hawk.

She had. I admired her, really. I wish you could have seen her, while she fought for justice for you. She was a force of nature.

And I still chose Alicent. I know it was wrong. But Baela pointed the finger, and Alicent had the influence to garner the votes. It could have been either of them, so I chose the person who was dearest to me, and I chose wrong.
mygoodsir: (kevin)

un: goodsir

[personal profile] mygoodsir 2025-05-23 04:27 am (UTC)(link)
[attached is a picture of a white lipped snail... on a pair of leather restraints.]

Dearest Tim,

I hope sincerely that you are feeling lighter in your heart today. I confess that I am hoping this message will perhaps bring a smile to your face.

Do not feel compelled to answer if you are otherwised engaged or are deep in melancholy. (But not too deep - please do not succumb to despair, my beloved.)

Your ever constant and affectionate
Harry
holyposition: (so I know i'm not)

[personal profile] holyposition 2025-05-23 04:40 am (UTC)(link)
Hi, Harry πŸ₯°

I wouldn't say that I'm succumbing to despair. But I'm having a hard time adjusting, still. Things are getting a little strained.

I need to get out of my head. Is that what the straps are for?
mygoodsir: (benevolent)

[personal profile] mygoodsir 2025-05-23 04:45 am (UTC)(link)
Oh, Tim, I truly think you'll like this - they attach to a contraption that hooks beneath the bed, so one may be bent over the width securely. It is much easier to put away than a full bench.

You know that I am yours anytime you ask.
holyposition: (something in the orange?)

[personal profile] holyposition 2025-05-23 04:50 am (UTC)(link)
You've been putting a lot of thought into getting bent over, then. I've been thinking about it too.

I know. And I'm grateful.
mygoodsir: (modern 7)

[personal profile] mygoodsir 2025-05-23 04:54 am (UTC)(link)
I have. It never seems far from my mind, at night when I am alone.

I am grateful for your presence in my life. I would show you much.
holyposition: (something in the orange?)

[personal profile] holyposition 2025-05-23 05:06 am (UTC)(link)
I think I'm ready to see what that looks like tonight, if you are.
mygoodsir: (modern 7)

[personal profile] mygoodsir 2025-05-23 05:10 am (UTC)(link)
I shall put the snail away, then.

You are welcome to enter my room at your convenience.
holyposition: (soup boy)

[personal profile] holyposition 2025-05-23 05:18 am (UTC)(link)
Definitely. Wouldn't want him to see all the filthy things I'm ready to do to you.

You shouldn't leave your room unlocked around here. You should have me a key made instead.
mygoodsir: (modern 7)

[personal profile] mygoodsir 2025-05-23 05:37 am (UTC)(link)
Goodness no!

Would you like that? The ability to lock me away safe?
holyposition: (suffer a boop)

[personal profile] holyposition 2025-05-23 05:41 am (UTC)(link)
Of course. If anyone's creeping into your room in the middle of the night, it ought to be me.
mygoodsir: (benevolent)

[personal profile] mygoodsir 2025-05-23 05:50 am (UTC)(link)
I confess that I would not be opposed to that.

You could slip into my bed.
holyposition: (sweetly)

[personal profile] holyposition 2025-05-23 03:11 pm (UTC)(link)
For late night lovemaking, or a nice surprise when you wake up?

[ It occurs to him after he says it that it's a dangerous fantasy, Hawk's got enough to be upset with him about without him stealing away in the night. Coming home at the end of the night was his rule. He can't break it. ]

I'm not patient enough to wait that long. Get yourself ready, I'm gonna gather a few things.
mygoodsir: (benevolent)

[personal profile] mygoodsir 2025-05-23 03:20 pm (UTC)(link)
Either. Both.

Of course, Tim.
longitudinal: (2020117_900)

teensy bit backdated;

[personal profile] longitudinal 2025-05-26 05:17 am (UTC)(link)
Are you feeling more like yourself?
It seems things have quieted down for many of us.

[ because how do you say hi i miss you but also i'm afraid you're not yourself still and you are hurting people and hurting yourself -

without sounding like a lunatic. but he's worried. has been since he saw koby burned and bloody in the library, giving tim a wide berth after that. ]
mygoodsir: (teehee)

un: goodsir

[personal profile] mygoodsir 2025-05-26 04:14 pm (UTC)(link)
[Attached is a photo of a big fat bee's butt sticking out of a flower.

No there is no explanation.]
Edited (clarity ) 2025-05-26 16:15 (UTC)
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