I hit it off with Harry last month, while Hawk was gone. We went out on a couple dates and he made me a protection charm, and let me watch while he explained it all, which probably made it take a lot longer, but he was sweet about it. It’s been...slower. Meaning we haven’t been intimate, but I like that. I tend to throw myself into things completely without using my head, so it’s a good change to be sure first. I feel really good about it. And him.
But Hawk’s back now, and he’s different, in a good way, but I don’t know if that’s real or it’s just the situation we’re in right now, where if he doesn’t tell me what’s going on we could all actually die. He’s reliable right now but I don’t know if he’ll stay that way. We didn’t have time to see where we were before Embry was killed
He was fucking Embry, by the way. Which I didn’t know until I was scrubbing his blood off the altar.
I’m not upset he did it, it’s not like I was celibate when he was gone. But he knows who I’m with. Why shouldn’t I get the same courtesy?
I told him when he came back that I can’t commit to him again when I don’t know if I can trust him, and I need time to figure out what it is I really want. I had him stay in the other room, and then all of this started and we’re sharing a bed again and he saved my life, and between us it’s good, even with everything else falling apart. But this will end, and I don’t know where we’ll be, and I don’t want to give up on Harry or hurt Hawk or abandon Quentin (what happened with those two??) - I just need to stand my ground and give myself time. But it feels selfish.
I think that’s most of it. Sorry, that was more vomiting out my feelings than fun gossip
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I hit it off with Harry last month, while Hawk was gone. We went out on a couple dates and he made me a protection charm, and let me watch while he explained it all, which probably made it take a lot longer, but he was sweet about it. It’s been...slower. Meaning we haven’t been intimate, but I like that. I tend to throw myself into things completely without using my head, so it’s a good change to be sure first. I feel really good about it. And him.
But Hawk’s back now, and he’s different, in a good way, but I don’t know if that’s real or it’s just the situation we’re in right now, where if he doesn’t tell me what’s going on we could all actually die. He’s reliable right now but I don’t know if he’ll stay that way. We didn’t have time to see where we were before Embry was killed
He was fucking Embry, by the way. Which I didn’t know until I was scrubbing his blood off the altar.
I’m not upset he did it, it’s not like I was celibate when he was gone. But he knows who I’m with. Why shouldn’t I get the same courtesy?
I told him when he came back that I can’t commit to him again when I don’t know if I can trust him, and I need time to figure out what it is I really want. I had him stay in the other room, and then all of this started and we’re sharing a bed again and he saved my life, and between us it’s good, even with everything else falling apart. But this will end, and I don’t know where we’ll be, and I don’t want to give up on Harry or hurt Hawk or abandon Quentin (what happened with those two??) - I just need to stand my ground and give myself time. But it feels selfish.
I think that’s most of it. Sorry, that was more vomiting out my feelings than fun gossip