[ If her womanhood is not at fault, then it must be the fact of her. Queen Alicent Hightower, cold in her sentencing of the guilty or mad in her pursuit of justice — womanly afflictions, true, but the realm’s delight would never be so cruel, nor would Good Queen Aemma, ever so sickly and sweet. Her back straightens, her nails bite the vulnerable skin of her palm (a Queen’s flesh, uncalloused and unworked), her eyes flash, meeting Tim’s despite her desire to remain aloof.
But Tim says Hawk, names his love and himself as the root of this bloodshed, this pain, and she — everything shifts, the terrain as unsteady as the deck of a ship, chasing the tide. She watches him curl inward, self flagellating for her benefit or his punishment. Both, perhaps.
She rearranges her features into neutrality, even as she traces the pained lines in Tim’s face. Unsaid: I do wonder if Hawk told the Lady Greer or if he informed Ash alone. A comment on the nature of women’s involvement in this, meant for Hawk and Ash, not Tim. She doubts it. Greer had not seemed angry at the funeral, merely sad. Men don’t always exclude women intentionally; they also do it unthinkingly, by never considering them in the first place. ]
[ sharply, ] Your choices damned Alina twice-over. [ the hurt slips into her voice, held back by a need to be strong for all but herself until now. ] And Rhaenyra, if our theory about wolves striking again proves true.
[ She lets that sit, punishing. If Danny stalked Alina in the maze, he likely took Rhaenyra from this world when Paul protected his initial target. The two most important women in this place, in her life, jeopardised by the selfishness of men. She cannot forget it, however much she yearns to reach Tim now and soothe his hurts. His love may have cost Alicent her own, no matter how sorry he feels for it. Everyone is always sorry after the fact, aren’t they? ]
I would not call that a compromise.
[ For who benefitted but Hawkins Fuller and Danny Johnson? I don’t know how to say no to him conjures a few unflattering comparisons in her mind. No, Hawk is not so cunning as her father, or as wicked as her councillor. He’s only a man, grieving as she was when she crowned her son before the eyes of gods and men. A prideful, foolish man. And Tim — good, but corruptible, like any other. Hadn’t she bent her most gallant knight to her desires just the same? ]
What would you say now, if I had done this to you? [ Paul asked her that, too, as if they might deny each other when they so badly want for closeness. ] If Hawk and Koby or Quentin had been attacked, as mine were, and I knew who wielded the blade. If I knew and said nothing.
[ They only cared when it was Tim.
Her nails break skin, and the pain in her hand numbs her heart enough that she does not take the words back immediately or beg forgiveness. Alicent holds her ground. ]
no subject
But Tim says Hawk, names his love and himself as the root of this bloodshed, this pain, and she — everything shifts, the terrain as unsteady as the deck of a ship, chasing the tide. She watches him curl inward, self flagellating for her benefit or his punishment. Both, perhaps.
She rearranges her features into neutrality, even as she traces the pained lines in Tim’s face. Unsaid: I do wonder if Hawk told the Lady Greer or if he informed Ash alone. A comment on the nature of women’s involvement in this, meant for Hawk and Ash, not Tim. She doubts it. Greer had not seemed angry at the funeral, merely sad. Men don’t always exclude women intentionally; they also do it unthinkingly, by never considering them in the first place. ]
[ sharply, ] Your choices damned Alina twice-over. [ the hurt slips into her voice, held back by a need to be strong for all but herself until now. ] And Rhaenyra, if our theory about wolves striking again proves true.
[ She lets that sit, punishing. If Danny stalked Alina in the maze, he likely took Rhaenyra from this world when Paul protected his initial target. The two most important women in this place, in her life, jeopardised by the selfishness of men. She cannot forget it, however much she yearns to reach Tim now and soothe his hurts. His love may have cost Alicent her own, no matter how sorry he feels for it. Everyone is always sorry after the fact, aren’t they? ]
I would not call that a compromise.
[ For who benefitted but Hawkins Fuller and Danny Johnson? I don’t know how to say no to him conjures a few unflattering comparisons in her mind. No, Hawk is not so cunning as her father, or as wicked as her councillor. He’s only a man, grieving as she was when she crowned her son before the eyes of gods and men. A prideful, foolish man. And Tim — good, but corruptible, like any other. Hadn’t she bent her most gallant knight to her desires just the same? ]
What would you say now, if I had done this to you? [ Paul asked her that, too, as if they might deny each other when they so badly want for closeness. ] If Hawk and Koby or Quentin had been attacked, as mine were, and I knew who wielded the blade. If I knew and said nothing.
[ They only cared when it was Tim.
Her nails break skin, and the pain in her hand numbs her heart enough that she does not take the words back immediately or beg forgiveness. Alicent holds her ground. ]