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[holyposition]

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t.laughlin

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[provoke]

You cannot promise me that. You—— What if I refuse you something you truly wanted? Something you deserve to have? Would you think it fair? Is my comfort truly worth depriving yourself so?

[ he doesn't understand it. to him, it's the height of selfishness; to be generous with the self in the face of discomfort is the standard for duty. it demands, and it takes, and one suffers through it if one cannot find it in themselves to love what they are given. his mother had done it for decades, as had his father, as had every single dragon in his family. they have privilege, he knows this, they have more of it than anyone else in the seven kingdoms — but it is power that requires sacrifice.

some discomfort in the marriage bed is a small price to pay for a greater strength, a greater alliance. while tim is no lord or lady of the realm, he has given aemond an unconditional trust. it is a greater gift than many have offered aemond in all his years. why should that not demand sacrifice? he is willing to give it. ]

Should I not want to please, and be raised up for it?

[holyposition]

Hey, come on up here.

[ Patting the bed beside him. He doesn't need to kneel, as if in prayer or reverence. Tim hasn't done anything extraordinary by suggesting that whatever intimacies they partake in should be enjoyable and comfortable for them both. That it puzzles him is a tragedy, one that Tim will work as hard as he can to correct. ]

I don't see it as deprivation. [ Kissing him on his brow, where his scar is, and again on the bottom, at the peak of his cheekbone. ] I need to know my lover is engaged and enjoying himself, or I won't be having fun either. It's important to me, and makes everything feel better, too. So if you don't like it, I won't like doing it with you.

[ It would be selfish of him to ask, especially here, where he has other lovers who would be more than happy to let him suck them off if he were really in the mood for it that badly. Tim likes doing it. He loves doing it, but he meant what he said before. Aemond's comfort, his feelings, and his pleasure are all more important than this one thing. ]

There's lots of ways to make me feel good. You managed just fine yesterday.