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[holyposition]

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t.laughlin

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[holyposition]

[ Bright yellow’s faded into tarnished, crumbling rust. Love still flows through him freely, but it isn’t joyful, woven close with fear, with worry, with guilt. Guilt on guilt on more guilt, so many layers of it that he can barely think, only serve, in hopes of alleviating even a little bit of it. Tim feels Koby reaching out, and he’s still not used to the sensation that goes along with it, but for a second, the slightest second, he relaxes. Exhales without his chin wobbling with a barely repressed sob. ]

Yeah. Thank you.

You look after me, so I can look after them. If you need anything

Well, I’m sure Quentin’s got you covered

But if you need him, talk to Hawk. Between the two of you I’ll be fine.

[kobes]

[It's still difficult to use the full extent of what's awoken -- as a weapon or even as defense, the myriad purposes of such power still escaping Koby, even after weeks of practice. But this, at least, he can do. He can nudge that blushing pink warmth up against the pained, grieving, guilty mess of Tim's mind, embrace him fully and unflinching, whisper I'm here, I'm here, I'm here as many times as it takes. That part comes effortlessly.]

Right. I take care of you, you take care of them, we take care of each other, and it'll end eventually. She'll come back and tell us off for worrying so much.

He does. [Quentin’s got him, even when he doesn't ask for it, even when he doesn't think to need it.]

I'll keep an eye on him too, just to be safe. Make sure he's sleeping. Make sure YOU'RE sleeping, because you're no help unrested.

[holyposition]

[ Still not confident that Alicent wjll want to talk to him even to scold him, but maybe. It changed Hawk. ]

I'll sleep, I promise. Whenever Aemond does.

No idea how this sleeping arrangement is supposed to work, but I will.

[kobes]

Do you think he will? He feels
Not anywhere close to restful.

You could push a couple beds together, maybe. Or make up one of the couches. Would princes deign to sleep on couches?

[holyposition]

He'll have to wear himself out eventually.
I can relax him, usually. But it's different with Aegon around.

Doubtful. But I could, if need be. It's not the same as sharing with you and Quentin.

[kobes]

I can't imagine. They're both a mess, I'm sure. I hate that this is happening, but
I'm glad he has you. I'm glad he isn't alone in this.

No, obviously. Nobody hogs blankets like Quentin.
I miss that. I miss how simple things felt in the summer. I'm glad they're better, with you and Hawk, but...

[holyposition]

They are. Of course they are. They lost their father less than a year ago, and Aegon’s son, and now their mother, even if it’s temporary. It’s messed up.

Yeah. I kinda miss it too. Back when the worst thing that was happening was arguing with Hawk.

Should I dump him? Maybe that would fix everything.

[ jk jk.... ]

[kobes]

It is, yeah. Temporary doesn't make it feel better. Do you think she'll be different, like Hawk, when she comes back?

Well, let's not go overboard. Though a sleepover might be nice, when things settle down a bit.
Not necessarily like THAT, either.

Besides, I don't want you to dump Hawk. He and I talked, he apologized, he's on my good list again.

[holyposition]

Hopefully not just like Hawk. I don't know.

Yeah, he said so. I'm glad.

Could be like that, if you want. When things settle down. :)

[kobes]

Well, I wouldn't have any way of knowing. She's like Louis, for me. It's
New. I didn't have that, back home. I've never had it.

I'm sorry again. Just while we're clearing the air. There's a lot I wish I'd done different, back then.

Yeah? I know Quentin misses you. We both do. I have to ask if you think his gifts are good enough.

[holyposition]

I'm sorry.

[ He's heard about the childhood in the girl's orphanage. He can only assume the worst. ]

it's okay, Koby. We were all stressed out, I'm long over it. Danny didn't even attack me, remember?

What gifts?

[kobes]

It's all right, it was a while ago. It's just been
Nice to have that, here. Sort of. I know it's presumptuous, and they probably don't think the same thing about me, but. It's nice.

But he attacked SOMEONE. Multiple someones. And you helped to put him away, which kept the rest of us safe. And yes, I remember. It feels like you haven't even had time to really adjust to that, with everything that keeps happening.

Christmas gifts. AND birthday gifts, because I'm the worst boyfriend in the world and I missed his birthday.

[holyposition]

I'm sure they do. Alicent told her kids to trust you.

I met Eddie at Otherworld. It was weird.

What???

[kobes]

She did? Really? I didn't know that.

Was it? I accidentally texted him the other day. I don't know how I feel about all that still.

Yes! It was on the 12th!!! I had no idea and I MISSED it!!

[holyposition]

How could it not be?

Why didn't he say anything??

[kobes]

Well, it could've been traumatizing or you could've gotten into a fight or something, so maybe "weird" isn't that bad?

He said it wasn't that big of a deal!! He was very himself about it, you know how he is! I feel terrible. I already had a couple gifts, but I want to make things even MORE special now.

[holyposition]

He wants me now. Sexually. It IS bad.

You shouldn't feel terrible if he didn't tell you, how were you supposed to know?

[kobes]

OH. That's
Yeah. That's pretty bad. What happened? At Otherworld?

No, you're right, I know you're right. And I know he's not mad, he'd never be mad. But he's just as worthy of celebration as anyone else.

[holyposition]

The angel party. I was compelled to...punish him, for what he did to me.

He is. Some people are just more private though, not everyone wants a big pink tree.

[kobes]

Oh. Was it
I mean. Did it help? Doing that? It's okay if it did, you know.

Well, I can agree the big pink tree was a LITTLE much. The crew got carried away, a little, I think.
If we're still here for my birthday, something small is okay.

[holyposition]

I don’t know. It felt cathartic, in the moment, but it’s not worth it if he’ll be following me around all riled up over it.

If we can get away with anything small and quiet in this place, I’ll consider us blessed.

[kobes]

Yes, that seems to be the issue with multiple people here. Getting angry or lashing out is what they want.
If he doesn't leave you alone, tell me, okay? I'll deal with it.

When's your birthday again? I'll make sure there's a naturally-colored tree for it.

[holyposition]

I'm not being harassed, don't worry. But I'll tell you if that changes.

June 6th. But you might not see me, Hawk will insist on occupying all my time.

[kobes]

Okay, good. By anyone, I mean. Even the crew. I know they can be
Prickly.

Soooo it'll be different from the average day how, exactly?

[holyposition]

Oh, shush. I see you every day!