IC Inbox

[holyposition]

WELCOME TO THE SALTBURNT NETWORK

USERNAME:
t.laughlin

text ❖ audio ❖ video

Comments

[kobes]

thats bullshit, t, you dont deserve that.
the beach is lame tho at least there are inside parties here.
i hate the water 😒😒😒

u got it babe i will happily seduce ur dad 🥰

[holyposition]

The beaches in England are lame. Next year, I'm thinking Mexico.

Remind him how old you are right before he cums

@sstrange

[rehandle]

[ Definitely not sober: ]

I didn't expect the son of a Salvatore to have such terrible taste.

@timmyyyyy

[holyposition]

Didn't you hear? I'm all but disowned.

You must be Dr. Strange.

[kobes]

should come to melbourne, hang out at the captain’s house. she likes you better anyway.

i do that anyway, can't finish without the look of horror.

[holyposition]

Ever since she heard about the blood stunt, she couldn't get enough of me.

You're disgusting. I love you. But don't tell me any details, please

[kobes]

she respects flair, what can i say. harassing me about getting your dad to invest, tho 🙄

i can tell you its like seducing a brick wall. and not in a sexy bricked up way.

[holyposition]

He’s awful, but he’s not dumb. He knows you’d tell me and that I’d never let him live it down.

You could try my mom, for the investment part. She gives so few fucks about me she probably doesn't even know who you are. At least dad pretends.

[kobes]

ouch. though considering what i did on your couch last summer maybe its good she doesn't remember me.

i'll try. maybe i'll parent trap them into signing paperwork or something so i can get alvida off my back for 5 minutes.

[holyposition]

I got the stain out. It's fine.

Let me know how it goes. In as little detail as possible.

Anyway. I think the president of the united states has jerked off to me.

[rehandle]

The very same. At your service.

Has he been singing my praises?

[holyposition]

Not exactly. Small world, though.

Why are you really reaching out? Just to mock a stranger's taste?

[rehandle]

[ A little of that, a little of something else. But also, as a conversation he'd had earlier in the day rears its head in memory - ]

I missed your grandfather's funeral. I'm sorry. That's not an easy loss.

[holyposition]

"You have shit taste in men, sorry about your nonno though."

Charming.

[rehandle]

I never was known for my bedside manner.

Glad you could be here. This may not have been your father's most inspired idea, but at least the selection's better.

[holyposition]

Does he know you're trying to hit on me?

[rehandle]

Please. If I were to hit on you I'd do it sober and in person. But I'll make a note that you count me amongst the pool of better options.

[holyposition]

I said no such thing. Unless you had a match for me in mind, you have to be talking about yourself.

Which is bold, over a text I didn't ask for, so I'll give you that.

[rehandle]

What I meant to imply is that pretty much anyone in this manor is a better option than one you've already picked.

But I understand you must be used to attention. I can't fault you the assumption.

[holyposition]

Did my father put you up to this?

[rehandle]

No.
Does he often send strangers to critique your sex life?

Actually, don't answer that.

[holyposition]

He's got a vendetta against Harry because he’s too old for me or he's a bad liar or whatever. Doesn't matter. I'll fuck who I want.

[rehandle]

As you should. I just think that man's a waste of time.

[ And now they're talking a little more plainly, and his head's less full of the what feels like 90 times in the last three days that somebody's mentioned Harry Goodsir, now he's reached some kind of intoxication plateau... he has the good grace to feel a little embarrassed. ]

Sorry. I worked with your family a long time ago. I know your father and your uncle, your mother a little. I suppose I felt entitled to act like I know you too.

But I don't, and it really is none of my business.
I'll leave you to your night.

[kobes]

awwww. thought i'd be a conversation piece longer than that.

deal. also your ex is my suitemate, i think.

can you put that on a resume? you should totally put that on a resume.

[holyposition]

You're right, it's really not.

Have a good night.