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[holyposition]

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t.laughlin

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[holyposition]

[ He opens his mouth to make a frustrated snap – not at Koby, but at Hawk – because there’s no reason to worry about Louis down in the dungeon, is there? Not when the dungeon strangler is a friend of his, and he’s sitting pretty in Tim’s room guzzling down scotch after their latest fight about it.

But he says nothing, not to hide, but because he doesn’t want to interrupt Koby’s story, as gruesome as it is. It only makes him angrier. Is that why he’s been judged to suffer in this place? For not standing up to an entire crew of violent pirates with only a mop and bucket? It would be suicide, and that too is a sin. What was he supposed to do? ]

You’re not a coward. She would have just killed you, and then you never would have escaped, or made it here, or been any help to anyone. You survived.

[ As for the rest, he sighs. Says nothing. The goal should be to cause no suffering at all, but being in this manor and playing this game makes that impossible. Tim pulls his hand free from Koby’s to wrap around his shoulders instead, pulling him into his chest, while his other hand still anxiously rubs at his beads. ]

We’ll survive. And we’ll make things right once it’s over.

[kobes]

[It feels -- odd to have it out, like that. The knowledge of Koby's own participation (albeit by inaction) in two years of death and violence and carnage feels like a weight, like something he can't shrug off, no matter how he tries, like it'll follow him forever, clinging at his heels and hissing his name. He feels that shame now, thinks of his lofty attempts at being kind or strong or fair during this awful month, and how he'd done none of that on Alvida's ship. How he'd been too scared to breathe even a word of dissent.

Tim's arm lands warm and reassuring across his shoulders, and Koby turns in towards him, letting out a shuddery exhale as he does.] Then that's what we're doing now. Surviving. We can -- fix things when this is all over, you're right. [A stretch of peace, a break...it sounds pretty damn appealing right about now.]

🎀

[holyposition]

[ The likelihood that Tim would give himself the same grace if it were him is tragically low, but he knows Koby, knows him to be someone who tries his best at every turn to do the most good for the most people. Not every weakness is a mortal sin. Some situations are just impossible, like this one. This place. His arms squeeze around Koby tighter, his head leaning to rest on top of his, and recalls how even a few months ago, his heart raced so anxiously at such a small intimacy between friends. And now it’s normal, and good, and worth holding on for. ]

Just a few more days. And then...yeah. We’ll figure it out from there.