[It feels -- odd to have it out, like that. The knowledge of Koby's own participation (albeit by inaction) in two years of death and violence and carnage feels like a weight, like something he can't shrug off, no matter how he tries, like it'll follow him forever, clinging at his heels and hissing his name. He feels that shame now, thinks of his lofty attempts at being kind or strong or fair during this awful month, and how he'd done none of that on Alvida's ship. How he'd been too scared to breathe even a word of dissent.
Tim's arm lands warm and reassuring across his shoulders, and Koby turns in towards him, letting out a shuddery exhale as he does.] Then that's what we're doing now. Surviving. We can -- fix things when this is all over, you're right. [A stretch of peace, a break...it sounds pretty damn appealing right about now.]
[ The likelihood that Tim would give himself the same grace if it were him is tragically low, but he knows Koby, knows him to be someone who tries his best at every turn to do the most good for the most people. Not every weakness is a mortal sin. Some situations are just impossible, like this one. This place. His arms squeeze around Koby tighter, his head leaning to rest on top of his, and recalls how even a few months ago, his heart raced so anxiously at such a small intimacy between friends. And now it’s normal, and good, and worth holding on for. ]
Just a few more days. And then...yeah. We’ll figure it out from there.
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timeasmymeasure
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Date: 2024-11-02 01:35 am (UTC)Tim's arm lands warm and reassuring across his shoulders, and Koby turns in towards him, letting out a shuddery exhale as he does.] Then that's what we're doing now. Surviving. We can -- fix things when this is all over, you're right. [A stretch of peace, a break...it sounds pretty damn appealing right about now.]
🎀
Date: 2024-11-05 04:32 pm (UTC)Just a few more days. And then...yeah. We’ll figure it out from there.