[ And he thinks Aemond knows that, but this situation is fraught enough without pointing it out. He doesn't trust so easily, Tim knows, or admit to pain or fear or needing comfort. He could harm him right now, if he had a mind to, by simply getting up and leaving, proving all his walls necessary and all this unprocessed trauma a deal-breaker. Aemond could hurt him too, by deciding his softness isn't worth being vulnerable for, that he doesn't want it or respect it after all.
Tim's not doing any of that, just...holding his hand on the top of Aemond's head, scratching affectionately at his scalp. His voice is low and gentle, not wanting an argument, but firm, assured of the truth of what he's saying. Some points have to be made for his own good, if he'll listen. ]
You didn't do it because you wanted it, you did it to please him. That's not how sex should be, ever. It doesn't make you weak, that you didn't like it.
[ If anything, he's the one begging, for Aemond to take his words to heart, to separate this from all the other things he does for his brother out of loyalty and duty. He has to take a breath and close his eyes, to keep the emotion back, so that he doesn't cry for him.
...but maybe he should. Has anyone, ever? ]
If you want to ease into it, we can. If you don't, that's alright too. Like I said, nothing that you don't want.
You cannot promise me that. You—— What if I refuse you something you truly wanted? Something you deserve to have? Would you think it fair? Is my comfort truly worth depriving yourself so?
[ he doesn't understand it. to him, it's the height of selfishness; to be generous with the self in the face of discomfort is the standard for duty. it demands, and it takes, and one suffers through it if one cannot find it in themselves to love what they are given. his mother had done it for decades, as had his father, as had every single dragon in his family. they have privilege, he knows this, they have more of it than anyone else in the seven kingdoms — but it is power that requires sacrifice.
some discomfort in the marriage bed is a small price to pay for a greater strength, a greater alliance. while tim is no lord or lady of the realm, he has given aemond an unconditional trust. it is a greater gift than many have offered aemond in all his years. why should that not demand sacrifice? he is willing to give it. ]
Should I not want to please, and be raised up for it?
[ Patting the bed beside him. He doesn't need to kneel, as if in prayer or reverence. Tim hasn't done anything extraordinary by suggesting that whatever intimacies they partake in should be enjoyable and comfortable for them both. That it puzzles him is a tragedy, one that Tim will work as hard as he can to correct. ]
I don't see it as deprivation. [ Kissing him on his brow, where his scar is, and again on the bottom, at the peak of his cheekbone. ] I need to know my lover is engaged and enjoying himself, or I won't be having fun either. It's important to me, and makes everything feel better, too. So if you don't like it, I won't like doing it with you.
[ It would be selfish of him to ask, especially here, where he has other lovers who would be more than happy to let him suck them off if he were really in the mood for it that badly. Tim likes doing it. He loves doing it, but he meant what he said before. Aemond's comfort, his feelings, and his pleasure are all more important than this one thing. ]
There's lots of ways to make me feel good. You managed just fine yesterday.
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timeasmymeasure
cws continued let's just assume so all the way down
Date: 2024-11-25 06:00 am (UTC)[ And he thinks Aemond knows that, but this situation is fraught enough without pointing it out. He doesn't trust so easily, Tim knows, or admit to pain or fear or needing comfort. He could harm him right now, if he had a mind to, by simply getting up and leaving, proving all his walls necessary and all this unprocessed trauma a deal-breaker. Aemond could hurt him too, by deciding his softness isn't worth being vulnerable for, that he doesn't want it or respect it after all.
Tim's not doing any of that, just...holding his hand on the top of Aemond's head, scratching affectionately at his scalp. His voice is low and gentle, not wanting an argument, but firm, assured of the truth of what he's saying. Some points have to be made for his own good, if he'll listen. ]
You didn't do it because you wanted it, you did it to please him. That's not how sex should be, ever. It doesn't make you weak, that you didn't like it.
[ If anything, he's the one begging, for Aemond to take his words to heart, to separate this from all the other things he does for his brother out of loyalty and duty. He has to take a breath and close his eyes, to keep the emotion back, so that he doesn't cry for him.
...but maybe he should. Has anyone, ever? ]
If you want to ease into it, we can. If you don't, that's alright too. Like I said, nothing that you don't want.
no subject
Date: 2024-12-08 05:45 am (UTC)[ he doesn't understand it. to him, it's the height of selfishness; to be generous with the self in the face of discomfort is the standard for duty. it demands, and it takes, and one suffers through it if one cannot find it in themselves to love what they are given. his mother had done it for decades, as had his father, as had every single dragon in his family. they have privilege, he knows this, they have more of it than anyone else in the seven kingdoms — but it is power that requires sacrifice.
some discomfort in the marriage bed is a small price to pay for a greater strength, a greater alliance. while tim is no lord or lady of the realm, he has given aemond an unconditional trust. it is a greater gift than many have offered aemond in all his years. why should that not demand sacrifice? he is willing to give it. ]
Should I not want to please, and be raised up for it?
no subject
Date: 2024-12-08 07:37 am (UTC)[ Patting the bed beside him. He doesn't need to kneel, as if in prayer or reverence. Tim hasn't done anything extraordinary by suggesting that whatever intimacies they partake in should be enjoyable and comfortable for them both. That it puzzles him is a tragedy, one that Tim will work as hard as he can to correct. ]
I don't see it as deprivation. [ Kissing him on his brow, where his scar is, and again on the bottom, at the peak of his cheekbone. ] I need to know my lover is engaged and enjoying himself, or I won't be having fun either. It's important to me, and makes everything feel better, too. So if you don't like it, I won't like doing it with you.
[ It would be selfish of him to ask, especially here, where he has other lovers who would be more than happy to let him suck them off if he were really in the mood for it that badly. Tim likes doing it. He loves doing it, but he meant what he said before. Aemond's comfort, his feelings, and his pleasure are all more important than this one thing. ]
There's lots of ways to make me feel good. You managed just fine yesterday.