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[holyposition]

WELCOME TO THE SALTBURNT NETWORK

USERNAME:
t.laughlin

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Comments

[kobes]

no no no listen
what if
i die in a tragic accident
and all i have left is my dick rankings

what if that's my fucking LEGACY???

[he is either drunk or blitzed or both]

[holyposition]

my sweet baby k what the hell are you talking about

[kobes]

shut UP i'm a genius i'm having visions ur so mean!!!!!!!

[holyposition]

So you're high? Alright have fun, think about it, someone hot is calling me byE

[kobes]

💋🖕💖 love u too bitch

> the morning or...afternoon of June 7th

[holyposition]

i think im gonna die

like im fully panicking I csnt breathe

he did something to me

[kobes]

[immediately:]

who? what?
doesnt matter gimme a shovel and two hours ill handle it

[holyposition]

hawk

Fuller

tennis hottie

he fucked meso good i think my bodys going into shock

[kobes]

OH








so i dont need to kill anyone

[holyposition]

No you just need to put me on oxygen

[kobes]

oh my god you scared the shit out of me, teo

it cannot have been THAT good
was it?

[holyposition]

Sorry.

I would never exaggerate someone's dick game but I rly think I've stumbled onto the best kept secret in the world. if people knew there would be a line from here to london

[kobes]

uh oh
you liiiiiiiiiiiike him

[holyposition]

I like that he made me cum 4 times

and dont try to one up me thats a lot for most guys

but he made me stay the night and eat breakfast with him so 50/50 he's a serial killer

[kobes]

that's a LOT for most guys, jesus

and you did? you stayed the night???
oh youre in danger girl

[holyposition]

I was cumming DRY by the end i didnt even know i could do that

I figured it was safer than trying to walk back after getting absolutely demolished all night. I could have stumbled in the lake and drowned!

[kobes]

do you need some gatorade or something
i feel like he drained the soul outta you

yeah but now hes either gonna wear your skin or catch feelings
drowning is better

[holyposition]

worse, he had gatorade there and ready. I think they might have sponsored him at one point. but still.

you know what. he can wear my skin, if that’s what it takes to get him inside me again.

[kobes]

are you in the "enable my delusion" stage or the "snap me out of it" stage?

[holyposition]

There's no delusion. it's not like im wedding planning.

I just need help being chill about it, I think. hes perfect but like, suspiciously so. There's got to be a catch.

[kobes]

does HE know that?

yeah that's your logic kicking in, babe. there's always always always a catch.

[holyposition]

Hes got to. That was our first date. First...everything else. Unless he's a stalker.

It's probably another mid life crisis. He's not over his partner and has to drown his sorrows in early 20s ass. That's usually how these things go. They're just not usually....THAT good.

[kobes]

some guys still believe in love and shit, baby t.
be careful.

yeah, well, maybe you got a talented one
that's good!! good sex is good at the weird family vacation!
you haven't been dickmatized or whatever.

[holyposition]

That's impossible, he was with his partner for soooo long and then he died. If I were him I wouldn't believe in anything again

I'm not dickmatized.

maybe footmatized. his are really sexy

[kobes]

oh yeah, point in the big-dick serial killer column i guess
but also he was monogamous in the 90s. something is UP.

ew. did you suck those too?