IC Inbox

[holyposition]

WELCOME TO THE SALTBURNT NETWORK

USERNAME:
t.laughlin

text ❖ audio ❖ video

Comments

[holyposition]

We're just talking, Hawk.  I'm not in bed with him. He's obviously weird, I can tell just from the network, but that doesn't mean I can't talk to him.

People you trust more than me, apparently. Who?

[homosexuals]

I didn't think you were.

Christ, Tim. Being dangerous means you avoid contact and stop communication. This isn't the time to go getting curious and try and save his soul.

I trust their judgment. I'd trust yours if you'd stop balking at every goddamn thing I suggest because it's coming out of my mouth.

...Louis is one of them. Not the one getting blackmailed, but ask him if you don't believe me.

[holyposition]

That's the entire point of this place.

It's not because it's coming from you. It's because you demand it, when you have no right to.

I'm not asking Louis. Who's the second?

1/2

[homosexuals]

For Christ's sake, do you really still think this is purgatory?

I'm not demanding anything. I'm asking you to so I have one less thing to fucking worry about these days. I can't -

[homosexuals]

I can't handle anything else right now, Tim. I can't let anyone else down, and they all seem to think I can fix 'em.

The person getting blackmailed.

[holyposition]

Yes, I do.

You can let me down, but no one else?

[homosexuals]

I'm not trying to let you down either.

[holyposition]

You know exactly what I need from you and you can't bring yourself to do it.

[homosexuals]

I'm not letting you get close to this, Tim. It's not about being afraid anymore, or worrying about locked doors and commitment and M-Unit.

This is non-negotiable.

[holyposition]

You're afraid of something, obviously.

[homosexuals]

I'm afraid of you getting involved and getting hurt.

Do you really think - this is what I want?

[holyposition]

I think that you don't think I can handle myself. That after the wolf thing, I'm gonna pick the most dangerous option. But I'm not. I know I got lucky.

If what you're doing is as important as you say, you need support. You pretend you don't, but you do. You said yourself that you can't handle any more, so let me help you. I haven't forgotten how to be careful just because some things are different here.

[homosexuals]

It's not just about being careful, Tim! Christ, don't you get that? I wish it was that goddamn simple every night.

It's about - it's about keeping you away from this so I don't have to worry I'm gonna lose you for good. I've already fucked it - us - all up, but I'd rather have that and know you're safe and as far away from this as possible than the alternative. We might be far from Washington, but the politics, the danger, the stakes - they're still just as high for me here.

[holyposition]

I would be safer with you.

[homosexuals]

Not right now you wouldn't. Why do you think I left - our room?

It's not because I wanted to. It's not because I was scared or didn't want it.

I've got no other options right now, Tim.

[holyposition]

I don't know Hawk, because you won't tell me! That's the point!

I believe that you believe that, because you're stubborn. But I don't think it's true. We would be safer, stronger, and happier if we were together.

Let's say you finish whatever dangerous thing you're doing. We move in together again, everything is great for a few weeks. What happens when the next messed up thing happens? And the one after that? You'll leave every time and insist on handling it yourself? I can't live like that.

[homosexuals]

...You're right.

Maybe this isn't the best way to protect you in the future. It won't be any more fair to you if it happens again than it is now. You don't deserve to live like that, and I don't want to put you through it.

But right now - I can't risk it. I can't give up the idea that if I let you in and something happens to you...I can't, do you understand? And you're - digging in your heels, dead set on proving me wrong anyway.

At least think about what I said - about that guy. Please, Skip.

[holyposition]

I'm right but you're doing it anyway?

If you were where you're supposed to be, I wouldn't have time to get involved with anyone, much less supposed blackmailers.

[homosexuals]

I'm right but you're doing it anyway?

[:|]

[holyposition]

All I'm doing is texting.

[homosexuals]

You're insinuating you'd rather get involved with a blackmailer than listen to me.

Blackmailer at best, by the way. Who knows what other sick shit is going on.

[holyposition]

I'm not involved.

"Who knows?" You shouldn't say things like that if you're just speculating.

[homosexuals]

I'm not speculating! I've got cold hard facts: he followed someone around for weeks, waited for them to do something - that ought to stay private and now he's blackmailing and threatening to spill the beans.

But if that's the kind of guy you want to go getting involved with, wouldn't be much of a stretch past your pal Joe after all.

[holyposition]

How many times do I have to say I'm not involved? It's just on the phones, okay? I'm not meeting him anywhere, I'm sitting on the bed by myself, and it'll stay that way.

My pal Joe? I can't believe you would still say that to me.

You're the one assuming he's doing more than blackmail. If you don't have evidence for that, you're not so unlike McCarthy yourself.

1/2

[homosexuals]

Good. I hope it does. If you were smart - you'd skip the phone too.

Incriminating photos, threats, blackmail - that's not enough for you to pull together a concrete conclusion? I thought you'd learned a thing or two by now. This isn't pulling at straws like one of those goddamn show trials - this is happening here and it's real.