My apologies. I suppose I am somewhat defensive. I've never courted more than one person before. Do you? I feel I was awful. Rude, and crass, and unbelievably lascivious.
I knew I loved you because I could not think of a life without you in it. Even if all you had ever wanted from me was 'casual' I would have still felt the same. I'd have been content with whatever you had to give me. I do not feel that way about Theo. But I trust him and care for him very deeply. I do consider it a courtship.
It took us some time to get on good terms again. But it's okay. We've learned a lot about ourselves this year, and we're okay now.
You are the sweetest man in the world, you know that? Okay. Just keep me informed on things like that, okay? I don't need the dirty details, but I think transparency is important.
I know. I have a sex tape out there. Well, we do. But it's my face. And my...everything else.
Yes, I know you do. I am endeavouring to be as transparent as possible. And I am trying to reassure you, although you do not need such a thing, because I worry.
If not for Saltburnt, it wouldn't have been enough.
You're wrong. I do need it. Not because I don't trust you, it's just hard to feel secure in anything. After all that's happened the last few months. I was dead, and then I was insane, and then I was Teo. I need the stability.
But you are here. Together. I don't think you understand how beautiful that seems to others.
Tim Laughlin, I had never loved at all until I met you. You will forever be the one my heart turns to, even when I am old(er) and grey. I will be a rock if you need me to be.
Yes. Our times have not prepared us for such public intimacies.
It's a second chance. Which is beautiful, I know. I'm grateful for it.
And for you, too. I'll come see you later. You'll have to be gentle with me though, the bruises are still pretty dark.
It took four months before we could hold hands in public, much less sex parties and recorded evidence. I understand. I ran from that tent because I was feeling overwhelmed by the same thing.
I like it. It reminds me who I am. Teo would have never let you do that.
There was a time I thought it was Hell, when the murders started. But there's too much good for that. I wouldn't have met you, or found hope of real change back home, if it were. I don't know what to believe anymore.
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timeasmymeasure
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Date: 2025-07-09 03:26 am (UTC)My apologies. I suppose I am somewhat defensive. I've never courted more than one person before.
Do you? I feel I was awful. Rude, and crass, and unbelievably lascivious.
no subject
Date: 2025-07-09 03:43 am (UTC)I've done it here and had it end in disaster. I don't want that to happen again. Is it serious?
Maybe I didn't see that part of you. You were always sweet to me. Lascivious, sure, but so was I.
no subject
Date: 2025-07-09 03:51 am (UTC)Tim. I will never leave your side unless you tell me to. Apparently not even false realities can change that.
How does one judge such things?
Tim, I had relations with my suitemate. And with siblings!
no subject
Date: 2025-07-09 04:02 am (UTC)I don't know. You just feel it, don't you? How did you know with me?
A lot of people did a lot of stupid things. I think everyone's agreeing to leave it in the past.
no subject
Date: 2025-07-09 04:16 am (UTC)I knew I loved you because I could not think of a life without you in it. Even if all you had ever wanted from me was 'casual' I would have still felt the same. I'd have been content with whatever you had to give me.
I do not feel that way about Theo. But I trust him and care for him very deeply. I do consider it a courtship.
I suppose so.
It is difficult for me.
no subject
Date: 2025-07-09 04:46 am (UTC)You are the sweetest man in the world, you know that?
Okay. Just keep me informed on things like that, okay? I don't need the dirty details, but I think transparency is important.
I know. I have a sex tape out there.
Well, we do. But it's my face. And my...everything else.
no subject
Date: 2025-07-09 05:10 am (UTC)Yes, I know you do. I am endeavouring to be as transparent as possible. And I am trying to reassure you, although you do not need such a thing, because I worry.
Oh, Tim. I am being so selfish, forgive me.
no subject
Date: 2025-07-09 05:18 am (UTC)You're wrong. I do need it. Not because I don't trust you, it's just hard to feel secure in anything. After all that's happened the last few months. I was dead, and then I was insane, and then I was Teo. I need the stability.
You're not. But we're in the same boat.
no subject
Date: 2025-07-09 05:23 am (UTC)Tim Laughlin, I had never loved at all until I met you. You will forever be the one my heart turns to, even when I am old(er) and grey. I will be a rock if you need me to be.
Yes. Our times have not prepared us for such public intimacies.
no subject
Date: 2025-07-09 05:31 am (UTC)And for you, too. I'll come see you later. You'll have to be gentle with me though, the bruises are still pretty dark.
It took four months before we could hold hands in public, much less sex parties and recorded evidence. I understand. I ran from that tent because I was feeling overwhelmed by the same thing.
no subject
Date: 2025-07-09 05:37 am (UTC)Oh, you poor thing. But I should like to see you, all the same.
This place is so cruel to you, my darling.
no subject
Date: 2025-07-09 05:49 am (UTC)There was a time I thought it was Hell, when the murders started. But there's too much good for that. I wouldn't have met you, or found hope of real change back home, if it were. I don't know what to believe anymore.
no subject
Date: 2025-07-09 05:52 am (UTC)Perhaps what this place is isn't the important part. Perhaps what matters is how we treat one another.
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Date: 2025-07-09 01:33 pm (UTC)I think that has to be the case everywhere. This place just tests us more than most.
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Date: 2025-07-09 03:30 pm (UTC)Precisely. And so I believe we will be alright.
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Date: 2025-07-09 03:40 pm (UTC)I know we will. One way or another, we'll survive.
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Date: 2025-07-09 03:47 pm (UTC)That we shall.
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Date: 2025-07-09 03:59 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2025-07-09 04:02 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2025-07-09 04:05 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2025-07-09 04:08 pm (UTC)I suppose that I worry I will be taking time from you that you might need to recover.
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Date: 2025-07-09 04:10 pm (UTC)Recover from what?
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Date: 2025-07-09 04:16 pm (UTC)It's been an awfully difficult few months for you, my darling.
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Date: 2025-07-09 04:26 pm (UTC)I'm trying not to think about it. Wondering what's about to happen to me is making me anxious.
no subject
Date: 2025-07-09 04:35 pm (UTC)(no subject)
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