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[holyposition]

WELCOME TO THE SALTBURNT NETWORK

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t.laughlin

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[homosexuals]

Who is it, then?

Ah shit, I didn’t mean it like that. I’m sorry.

Does it change anything if I tell you I don’t care about getting caught? Because - I really don’t.

…I had another reason. But I’d rather tell you in person. It’s mostly PG rated, and it’s definitely involving those dusty pages.

[holyposition]

[ ...maybe he should cut him some slack. He's not trying to be petty, or angry, he's just not used to actually trying to protect his heart. Which is exactly his problem. ]

It's not anyone
I just mean, you can't leave me for months at a time and assume that things will be the same when you get back.

And sometimes not like you is a good thing.
just for trying something new, i mean.
I don't know what I want anymore and I'm not going to find out if I keep doing the same things I always do. Does that make sense to you?

Living honesty isn't the same as exhibitionism Hawk. But if you want me to meet you in the library with my clothes on, I will.

[homosexuals]

I'm not - of course I don't think that. Would be pretty goddamn insulting to you, and that's the last thing I wanna do. I'm not gonna pretend I'm happy about it, though.

Yeah. I guess it does. What kind of "new things" are you wanting to try? You're not...you don't have to do them with strangers, you know. I can try too. I want to try.

Clothes on. You're the boss. After dessert then?

[holyposition]

I know. I'm not asking you to. Just to not be mad.

It's not all sex related. Some of it, but that's not the important thing. And I'm not hooking up with strangers.
Well, once. At Otherworld, right after you left. I was upset, and it was a mistake.
Getting to know people from different places, with different experiences I couldn't even dream of, has been good for me.

After dessert. We can take it to go, just don't leave any crumbs in the library.

[homosexuals]

I'm not mad. Not at you, anyway. Myself, sure, maybe.

I know - christ, I wasn't saying that either. Look, can you believe me when I tell you it's not all about sex anymore? It hasn't been for a long time.

But - I'm glad. If it's good.

C'mon Skippy, I wasn't raised in a barn. Clean as a whistle.

[holyposition]

Don't worry, I know it's not.

You really want to know? I don't want you to be jealous and take it out on anyone.

[ Hawk is sexy when he's all riled up like that, but the people he's 'seeing' - as in, more than once, more significant than the mistakes he makes when he's upset or the things the manor finds a way to force him into - don't deserve the hassle. ]

[homosexuals]

Not really. But c'mon - don't act like I'm going to make a scene or sock someone in the face about it.

That's not my style.

[fucking tim raw and claiming him every other which way, on the other hand...]

[holyposition]

I know you won't attack anyone. But I still remember that first Otherworld party.

...you were right, by the way. Luci's crazy.

[homosexuals]

...That was different.

Imagine that.

...What happened? Did he do something to you?

[holyposition]

No it wasn't.

No, he didn't do anything. But he thinks he's the actual devil. He’s sick in the head.

[homosexuals]

Yes it was.

At this rate, maybe he is. Wolfmen, vampires, demons...what else can they throw at us?

[holyposition]

Unless he's secretly in charge of this whole thing, I don't think so.

I know you. Seeing someone grab my ass got you to make a scene, I can only imagine where you'll drag me if you see me with someone you know I've slept with.

[homosexuals]

If they're making you happy...

And doing it better than me, I wouldn't take that away from you.

[holyposition]

It's too early to know.

I don't know if it's better. Easier, maybe. You make things more complicated than they should be.

[homosexuals]

I'm not - it's not on purpose. How can it be that easy after everything we've been through?

[holyposition]

I know. Even the most perfect man alive wouldn't have our history. For better or for worse.

I want you to know I'm not looking for a replacement for you. That won't be possible. But if there are things I need that you still can't give me, I have to at least consider it.

[homosexuals]

I want to be the one to give them to you. To prove I can.

Do what you need to. Just - don't write me off. It's a lot to ask, and you'd be right to tell me to fuck right off and say no, but I'm asking anyway.

[holyposition]

I want you to, too.

I wouldn't have let you sneak back into the other room if I was writing you off. I could hear you unpacking.

[homosexuals]

Yeah?

Let me ask you - did you have that on all day, or did you put it on while you heard me rummaging around in there?

[holyposition]

That's all I've ever wanted. You just haven't been able to. But you should prove me wrong. I want you to.

You said three weeks. I was expecting you.

[homosexuals]

I will, Skippy. Mark my words.

Mm. It was a very nice welcome. Might be favorite yet.

[holyposition]

Got a peek of purple on your neck at the gym. Sorry.

[ he’s not. ]

[homosexuals]

I'm not.

And I know you aren't, either.

Turnabout is fair play, though. Wear those short shorts to the gym tomorrow. I wanna see the mess I made on your inner thigh.

[holyposition]

[ Being told what to wear should not be giving him a thrill like that, but... ]

Deal. I think there's one on the back of my thigh, too.

[homosexuals]

Even better.

...See you in the morning, Skip.