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[holyposition]

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t.laughlin

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[mygoodsir]

I've never been in love like this before.

Oh, no, of course not! I know perfectly well that it isn't the case.
But you asked how I found him attractive.

[holyposition]

"Always" oversells my experience, I guess. It's only been Hawk. There were some here that I thought could have gotten there, but something always goes wrong.

I'm glad it did though. If it left me open for you.

You find him attractive...because he doesn't seem like the kind of guy who cuddles when you're done?

[mygoodsir]

Oh, Tim.

[He's going to expire from embarrassment.]

He comes across like the kind of man who frigs you in the slops closet and never makes eye contact again, yes.

[holyposition]

He used to be. He's changed, though.

[ Harry's not the first to fall under the spell of Tim's hole, of course. ]

[mygoodsir]

I do not doubt that. He is a very upstanding man and I trust and respect him completely.

[He just likes the idea of being manhandled cruelly ok]

[holyposition]

Upstanding might be a stretch. Between you and me.

If you want to play at rough trade with him, you have my blessing. But you have to tell me.

[mygoodsir]

Tim I do not know what those words mean.

[holyposition]

It's what you're looking for if you want something rough and mean. The kind of guy who won't call you after.

[mygoodsir]

Oh.

I couldn't.

[holyposition]

I'm not suggesting or not suggesting it. Just saying that he would be good at it, if that's what you wanted.

Maybe it would soothe some awkwardness.

[mygoodsir]

I am certain he would be. But I doubt he'd be interested.

We've awkwardness?

[holyposition]

Not severely. But we're both jealous people, so he feels...not threatened, I don't think. He's just not used to sharing in the ways that matter the most. Neither of us are.

He loves someone else too, but he won't admit it.

[mygoodsir]

[He has to sit and process that for a bit.]

There is not a world that I can imagine in which Hawk has anything to fear from me. He is your world.

Do you like this person?

[holyposition]

I'm not going anywhere. I don't take anything I've said to you lightly, either.

That's a really complicated question. He's an ass. It started behind my back. And Hawk killed someone for him, who got his revenge and killed him right back. And I never got to be mad about any of it because everyone was dying and there were bigger things to worry about.

But he's just scared. He's an ass because he thinks everything's going to go wrong anyway, so he might as well ruin it on his own terms. And HE has people from home he's with, it would take a whole graph to explain it all, it's a nightmare.

We understand each other. We're friends now. Even if I still want to smack him sometimes.

[mygoodsir]

I know. I was not trying to imply otherwise. And Tim, I am so very happy with my place in your heart.

That sounds very confusing, but at the same time perhaps all that complex. You are friends now. Hawk must be overjoyed with that.

[holyposition]

I think he's a little annoyed that I'm on better terms with Embry than he is at the moment.

[mygoodsir]

I may not know much about love, Tim, but I suspect that Hawk will overcome his annoyance.

Just fuck his arse and cuddle him after. That seems to work a treat on men.

[holyposition]

Harry!

That works on you. He prefers to be the one soothing me into a stupor.

[mygoodsir]

Tim!

I know.



It is strange, isn't it? Sharing partners. I find that I am overcome with joy at the idea of him treating you the way you deserve to be treated. But simultaneously I think, "I pray I offer Tim just as much." And that is not me seeking reassurance, I am merely saying that it is indeed as complex as you say.

[holyposition]

No reassurance then 😁 You'll just have to have faith.

It is strange. I've had other lovers, but none that were committed the way I wished they were. It feels more complicated and less complicated at the same time. I'm more afraid to mess it up and more confident that you won't leave.

I know it's contradictary but it's complex. Like you said.

[mygoodsir]

In you, my faith has never wavered.

I don't think I could ever leave you, Tim. Unless perhaps you told me to, or if it were to save you.

After all, who else would compare my postern to a bee? You cheeky thing.

[holyposition]

Let's not think of reasons!

Sweet as honey 🐝

[mygoodsir]

Tim!

I think of your arse so often that I suppose I really cannot scold you.

[holyposition]

I should hope so. I've been doing squats.

[mygoodsir]

Squatting onto what?