I hit it off with Harry last month, while Hawk was gone. We went out on a couple dates and he made me a protection charm, and let me watch while he explained it all, which probably made it take a lot longer, but he was sweet about it. It’s been...slower. Meaning we haven’t been intimate, but I like that. I tend to throw myself into things completely without using my head, so it’s a good change to be sure first. I feel really good about it. And him.
But Hawk’s back now, and he’s different, in a good way, but I don’t know if that’s real or it’s just the situation we’re in right now, where if he doesn’t tell me what’s going on we could all actually die. He’s reliable right now but I don’t know if he’ll stay that way. We didn’t have time to see where we were before Embry was killed
He was fucking Embry, by the way. Which I didn’t know until I was scrubbing his blood off the altar.
I’m not upset he did it, it’s not like I was celibate when he was gone. But he knows who I’m with. Why shouldn’t I get the same courtesy?
I told him when he came back that I can’t commit to him again when I don’t know if I can trust him, and I need time to figure out what it is I really want. I had him stay in the other room, and then all of this started and we’re sharing a bed again and he saved my life, and between us it’s good, even with everything else falling apart. But this will end, and I don’t know where we’ll be, and I don’t want to give up on Harry or hurt Hawk or abandon Quentin (what happened with those two??) - I just need to stand my ground and give myself time. But it feels selfish.
I think that’s most of it. Sorry, that was more vomiting out my feelings than fun gossip
I don't mind you vomiting out your feelings, Tim. That's what friends do. And it seems like that's been building for a while, which...makes sense. We've all been distracted.
But I think you're right to ask for time. I don't think that's selfish at all. You're allowed to ask for that, especially with Everything.
Hawk and I got into a fight, during the last round and Quentin stood up for me. That's probably...why the tension.
it feels that way. I've never dated anyone for real, much less multiple people. I know I told you, where we're from you're not supposed to be seeing more than one. Not with any kind of seriousness. I know you and Quentin make it work just fine, but I don't know if I'm built for that.
that's why I need time to figure things out. I think he understands but he's still hurt by it.
I told him we worked it out. You and Usopp were right about Louis, anyway. I'll talk to him.
figures that finally showed up to defend me and ended up fighting with everyone else in my life. Of course. He got into it with Harry too.
It comes easier to some people than others, even from my world. I don't know, maybe it's inherent? Or maybe it just takes time. I'm not an expert.
Either way, I think you should be able to take as much time as you want, to sort it out.
You don't need to talk to him. He's not going to apologize and I've resigned myself to that. He probably doesn't even realize how much what he said hurt.
Or maybe he does. I don't know. It doesn't matter.
It still matters. Even if I don't do anything about it today. He came at you "for my sake" without asking me how I felt about it. If he had, I would have told him to handle it privately instead of talking down to you in front of everyone.
[There's a pause, a beat where Koby doesn't respond, because to say too much would unfold how Hawk's words -- thoughtless, he's sure, he's sure he hadn't meant them the same way, but they'd hit every weak point Koby has -- have lingered. How much it still hurts.]
I wish he'd done that. I think Quentin saw me and just stepped in. It was very dashing, but I didn't want to cause problems for you.
Still, I reacted badly. I wasn't as composed as I'd like to have been.
It was nice. I'm not used to people sticking their necks out for me, especially not in public, so it sort of took me off guard. But I always think he looks nice.
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timeasmymeasure
no subject
Date: 2024-10-21 03:58 pm (UTC)I hit it off with Harry last month, while Hawk was gone. We went out on a couple dates and he made me a protection charm, and let me watch while he explained it all, which probably made it take a lot longer, but he was sweet about it. It’s been...slower. Meaning we haven’t been intimate, but I like that. I tend to throw myself into things completely without using my head, so it’s a good change to be sure first. I feel really good about it. And him.
But Hawk’s back now, and he’s different, in a good way, but I don’t know if that’s real or it’s just the situation we’re in right now, where if he doesn’t tell me what’s going on we could all actually die. He’s reliable right now but I don’t know if he’ll stay that way. We didn’t have time to see where we were before Embry was killed
He was fucking Embry, by the way. Which I didn’t know until I was scrubbing his blood off the altar.
I’m not upset he did it, it’s not like I was celibate when he was gone. But he knows who I’m with. Why shouldn’t I get the same courtesy?
I told him when he came back that I can’t commit to him again when I don’t know if I can trust him, and I need time to figure out what it is I really want. I had him stay in the other room, and then all of this started and we’re sharing a bed again and he saved my life, and between us it’s good, even with everything else falling apart. But this will end, and I don’t know where we’ll be, and I don’t want to give up on Harry or hurt Hawk or abandon Quentin (what happened with those two??) - I just need to stand my ground and give myself time. But it feels selfish.
I think that’s most of it. Sorry, that was more vomiting out my feelings than fun gossip
no subject
Date: 2024-10-21 04:22 pm (UTC)And it seems like that's been building for a while, which...makes sense. We've all been distracted.
But I think you're right to ask for time. I don't think that's selfish at all. You're allowed to ask for that, especially with
Everything.
Hawk and I got into a fight, during the last round and Quentin stood up for me. That's probably...why the tension.
no subject
Date: 2024-10-21 04:31 pm (UTC)that's why I need time to figure things out. I think he understands but he's still hurt by it.
I told him we worked it out. You and Usopp were right about Louis, anyway. I'll talk to him.
figures that finally showed up to defend me and ended up fighting with everyone else in my life. Of course. He got into it with Harry too.
no subject
Date: 2024-10-21 04:58 pm (UTC)Either way, I think you should be able to take as much time as you want, to sort it out.
You don't need to talk to him. He's not going to apologize and I've resigned myself to that. He probably doesn't even realize how much what he said hurt.
Or maybe he does. I don't know. It doesn't matter.
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Date: 2024-10-21 05:00 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2024-10-21 06:31 pm (UTC)It's nothing I hadn't heard a million times before.
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Date: 2024-10-21 07:06 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2024-10-21 09:13 pm (UTC)I wish he'd done that. I think
Quentin saw me and just stepped in. It was very dashing, but I didn't want to cause problems for you.
no subject
Date: 2024-10-21 09:19 pm (UTC)I'm sorry, still. Did he look good doing it, at least? I kind of liked having hawk fighting for me, when it wasn't you guys.
no subject
Date: 2024-10-21 11:50 pm (UTC)It was nice. I'm not used to people sticking their necks out for me, especially not in public, so it sort of took me off guard.
But I always think he looks nice.
no subject
Date: 2024-10-22 12:01 am (UTC)He really does. Put a kiss right in his beard for me.
no subject
Date: 2024-10-22 02:29 am (UTC)la dee da timelines schmimelines
Date: 2024-10-22 02:31 am (UTC)we on werewolf time
Date: 2024-10-22 02:41 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2024-10-22 02:55 am (UTC)I'm glad that he's not dead, obviously.
It's just complicated. I need to clear my head.
no subject
Date: 2024-10-22 03:23 am (UTC)Yeah, you can come here. Of course you can. Luffy and the crew are in and out of the other room, but Quentin's side is usually just me and him.
no subject
Date: 2024-10-22 03:33 am (UTC)Did you leave your own room behind already?
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Date: 2024-10-22 03:37 am (UTC)After the first deaths, yeah. Which feels like years ago, now. Would you rather stay there?
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Date: 2024-10-22 03:42 am (UTC)Not alone. But not with people in and out all the time.
It's fine, I'm not gonna ask you to move. There's other people I can stay with.
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Date: 2024-10-22 01:56 pm (UTC)I don't want you to be alone either, Tim. I really don't mind staying with you in my room for a little.
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Date: 2024-10-22 02:13 pm (UTC)It's okay. Aemond has a spare room, I can go there.
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Date: 2024-10-22 02:34 pm (UTC)Aemond.
Okay.
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Date: 2024-10-22 02:48 pm (UTC)But just say it. I know he's...a handful.
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Date: 2024-10-22 03:14 pm (UTC)Yes. Several handfuls. Armed and dangerous handfuls.
no subject
Date: 2024-10-22 03:27 pm (UTC)(no subject)
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