[ Tim waits before he replies. Letting it sink in. He doesn't know if it's a slip or a confession, but either way it's...complicated. He's glad to know her, to have someone in his life who understands having these feelings despite their faith, living in a place different from this one, that makes acting on them difficult to impossible. To have that solidarity soothes him.
To know that she might have this same black hole in her, this endless pull of longing and foolish hopes that swallows the rest of her, takes that comfort right back. ]
Are you sure?
For me, it's not that the love is gone. He needs to hide it. But I can't.
[ He doesn't need to specify he, probably, but he chooses to. A trade of secrets, a comparison of bruises. ]
[ he, her assumptions made explicit. her agony, echoed and doubled in his heart. she thinks of embry and his ash, then, wondering if the manor drinks of their pain like wine.
is it harder, to see the love and be unable to grasp it — or to think it gone from this world forever? ]
I wish I could give you greater solace, at this impasse.
[ she understands the shame, the fear that plagues tim and hawk both. for it was her most gallant knight who crushed the knight of kisses’ skull. her own viperous tongue, which mocked ser laenor for his failure to give the princess children. there is no room in westeros for her treacherous heart. and nowhere else to go, when her role is there. when her sweet daughter — ]
Here or there, it matters not. When her mother died, her father took me to wife, and now my sons lay claim to the throne that might have been hers. Tell me thus: Would you love your enemy?
[ That's...medieval court drama, he'd suppose. Tim isn't so naive that he thought a woman of her age and position, with adult sons had married for love, but the real love being his daughter? That's brutal. A scandal regardless of whether all involved are the appropriate sex. It makes him feel guilty for his own complaining, the stakes of which are no higher than his own heart. ]
"Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you" From the book of Matthew.
I don't think that the love we're talking about is as active a choice. We can only choose if we act on it.
If she were here, would you? Away from home, and the politics, and the scandal it would be?
[ perhaps tim’s god is right. if she had been kinder from the start and raised her boys to love their half-sister — in truth, nothing would change, not with a council of men that will not see a woman rule, and the succession in turmoil since viserys made her second wife, cold queen, mother to usurpers.
but at least rhaenyra would know that she did not want this. ]
You may have the truth of it.
[ that they cannot choose whether to feel this love, only if they seize it. the last time she chose rhaenyra still chafes, with her foolishness — her father stripped of his station. if she were to do so again, she knows the price would be higher. an eye for an eye, a son for a son. ]
I thought I saw her the night of the wolf. The dream of a girl, seeking absolution.
I would go to her, if she appeared, although I do not know what that would entail. It has not been so simple for you and your love, even outwith the confines of your world.
[ he knows that it is no choice, because if it were, he wouldn’t be in this mess, this heartache, this purgatory in the first place. If he could have chosen to be normal, he would have. A love that he could bring home for Christmas, a marriage in a church, a family of his own. It would have been so much easier than the lying and the fear, the ticking of the clock in his ear. He's young enough that his mother is the only one questioning why he hasn’t settled down, but Hawk has a decade on him. The ticking is louder. It's a pounding on the door, and again, he’s chosen to toss Tim out and barricade it rather than risk anyone seeing him in there with him.
He did choose to smile back at the handsome stranger on election night. He chose to give him his number in the park, he chose to open his door, let him touch him, awaken the enormity of the desire that Tim thought he had under control. He chose, he chose, he chose. Whether their souls had been woven together by God or by him, he’d wanted it, and he wants it still. ]
It hasn’t been simple, no. but I don’t regret that I tried. This was our best shot.
[ a boy little older than her sons, with greater maturity than he realises. why should the gods allow him to suffer this way, when he has been naught but kind? ]
I have said your heart is gentle before, Tim, but I fear I have neglected to note its bravery.
[ What with the wolfman incident. No, that’s got nothing to do with his heart, necessarily, but he feels the need to downplay it. It doesn’t feel brave to abandon his suite and move into Koby’s, just so that he won’t have to face the traces of Hawk, or to spend a few hours losing himself in something meaningless at Otherworld, dirtying his soul just to distract from the ache. He feels small and weak, like keeping up the resolve to say no might be more painful than the next rejection, the next disappointment, the next lie. ]
No. I shouldn’t have lied, I’m sorry. I didn’t want you to see me like this.
[ Not brave. Not honorable, after the things he’d said in their fight. Self-indulgent in his misery and the pleasure he's chased to cleanse himself of it, to no avail. Not presentable. Or so he'd thought, until once again, they've revealed themselves to be more similar than should even be possible, considering the drastic differences in their experiences. ]
I can see you tonight. Since I've said too much already. You can tell me about her.
You’re not the first young man to cover his pride and sorrow with a lie. You will certainly not be the last.
[ a laugh bubbles over, despite the tightness in her throat and wetness in her eyes. ]
I can only imagine she would frustrate you as she has vexed me. [ uncaring of the faith, the family, the law, and untouched by consequence. the realm’s delight. ] She would not countenance our studies or prayers unless I begged it of her.
[ and yet she kept the page rhaenyra tore from her book for decades, locked in a box beneath her bed. ]
Come to my rooms, when you’ve gathered yourself. I’ve quite the gentleman for a neighbour.
[ so they won’t be bothered, and tim won’t have to return to the space he shares with hawk. ]
Sounds like Hawk. He doesn’t believe in God. I don’t think he believes in anything, except doing whatever he wants all the time. I don’t understand how people can live that way.
[ In general, at least. If he’d seen the things that Hawk had seen in the war, maybe he’d feel differently, but he saw the gore splashed across the sand on the night the wolfman attacked, he’d caved to the pressure to eat the cake that wasn’t cake, took a bite out of someone’s flesh without his knowledge. The horrible things are adding up, but his faith doesn’t waver. ]
Okay. I’ll be there in half an hour.
[ The room he shared with Hawk now sits abandoned by them both, Tim having been crashing with Koby ever since Hawk left, but despite Koby’s insistence that it’s completely fine, he’s resistant to inviting anyone else over there. He feels like he’s intruding enough as is. So, joining her suits him just fine.
He’ll knock on the door in roughly twenty-five minutes, clean and combed with his eyes free of tears, but the heaviness behind them can’t be as easily hidden. Tim is unshaven, and has been for the last week or so. Trying something new, classic breakup hair change, don’t worry about it. ]
Hey, Alicent.
[ Softly. With new understanding and new vulnerability alike. ]
[ This insight into Hawk lights all she has perceived from a different angle. She would (and has) levelled the same accusations against Rhaenyra. For Alicent has toiled in service of the family and the law since entered the King's chambers, while Rhaenyra has flouted all. How can the faithful be drawn to those without such conviction? She doesn't know. She never has. Trying to unspool that thread now will make no difference, yet she attempts it all the same.
Tim's delay seems a blessing for her composure until she opens her door and sees him truly for the first time, heart stuttering in her chest. None have ever heard her plight, let alone understood it. Looking at his unshaven face and red-rimmed eyes, she wishes it remained that way, even as she finds herself impossibly grateful for his companionship.
For her part, the bruised hue under her eyes, blossoming in sleepless nights, gives away her distress, as does her own rumpled appearance. A frilly nightdress where she ought to have dressed for a vistor. Loose waves when she usually favours intricate style, tidy and proper. A startled expression, too, as though she can't believe he came (or that they conversed about all she has kept inside for so long). ]
Oh, Tim. [ Alicent embraces him before propriety can prevent her from ever reaching out, leaning up on the balls of her heeled feet to throw her arms around his neck. He's too tall. Everyone is, even her sons. ]
[ A life of repression makes her reaction seem novel to him, a burst of affection from someone who is not a lover, or a sister, or his mother. Tim’s always been so careful about it, not just for the sake of propriety, but so that he doesn’t reveal too much about himself, lingering a second too long embracing a man, or not long enough with some poor girl he’ll have to find an excuse to let down. It’s easier to keep to himself, lock his affection in a box that can’t possibly contain the magnitude of it. To be able to open it now in front of Alicent is a new frontier. He feels no fear as he holds her tight, and not because she, like so many others in this place, have insisted that there’s nothing to fear, but because she’s the only one who understands that there is.
Tim lifts her off her feet just a little so that the effort to bridge the height difference is his, not hers. A thank you, an opening up just a little more, all in the flex of his arms. When he finally lets go, there’s still red around his eyes and wetness in the corners that his glasses can’t obscure, but there’s a smile, too. It’s always been dangerous to let himself be known too well, but despite the ache in both of them, it feels like a gulp of air after nearly drowning. Relief, community, and faith. ]
Thank you. Let’s get inside.
[ Tim is dressed casually, instead of in his nightclothes, but a warm embrace in the doorway might still give someone the wrong idea. ]
[ She hiccups a laugh, the sound wet and tight in her throat, as he lifts her feet from the ground. When was the last time someone embraced her out of relief and not pure despair? When Viserys died, only Aemond offered her comfort, in his way, a softness she hadn’t seen from him since. And not like this, clinging as only someone who has known love and affection can.
Tim has more kindness in his heart than either of her boys, besides. It shows in the startled warmth on his face, the pleasing quirk of his mouth. She lingers only to right the crooked angle of his glasses, knocked askew by her haphazardness outreach. ]
Of course. [ She has forgotten all, manners and decorum swallowed by the newness of her ache acknowledged, not subsumed. ] Come in.
[ Her hand finds his arm, tugging him after her. On sight, Alicent’s rooms share her sense of displacement. All dark jewel tones and intricate designs, belonging to an older world. A tapestry hangs from the wall bordering the bathroom, the twisting branches of a thick tree reaching toward the ceiling. At its roots, a stately armchair sits. The vanity opposite her bed must be an antique, bronzed with age. Atop it, jewellery and hairpins are finely organised in decorative boxes and gilded trays — only the emerald-laden tiara stands apart, perching atop the dark oak and catching the flickering candlelight.
Her window looks onto the gardens, rounded windows flung open so she might feel the relief of the night air. The rumpled pillow and blanket at the window seat suggest that’s where she passed the last half hour, when her four poster bed remains neatly made. Perhaps more telling is the packet of cigarettes and glass of red wine on the windowsill. An freshly uncorked bottle sits on the nightstand. ]
Sit, sit. [ A beat. ] You know, I have never entertained without maids to fetch the tea. I suppose I could duck into the hall —
[ Their conversation has been anything but light, all revelations of shared pain and impossible longings, but her laugh puts a smile on his face that usually isn’t possible when he’s like this. The pain should be felt, he believes, rather than glossed over, it’s the only way to take the lessons that he’s meant to. Tim has long since rationalized being able to love a man, decided for himself that love cannot be a sin in order to have a single waking moment where he doesn’t feel hellfire licking at his feet, but loving the wrong one, giving him the kind of single-minded devotion that should be reserved only for God, only to be abandoned when he is no longer convenient, should hurt. Let the puncture wounds in his heart be a lesson.
And yet, despite his tendency and even his desire to wallow in it, he can’t help but feel some relief with her smiling up at him, reaching up to straighten his glasses and pull him inside. The space suits her more than Tim’s current situation (hiding in Koby’s room) suits him, makes him wonder briefly if he’ll ever be brave enough to go back to his own room, purge it of Hawk’s influence and make it his own again. That landmine of dark thoughts is just barely avoided by Alicent’s offer. ]
Oh, no, you don’t need to do that. [ He waves the suggestion away, casual, as he finds a seat for himself. ] It’s late, I don’t need anything. I just wanted to see you. Make sure that you’re...okay?
[ It's just as well that Tim halts her fussing with a gentle word and reorients their conversation to its melancholy beginnings. I just wanted to see you makes the ache inside her yawn wider, a chasm of unanswered feeling. She has had neither friend nor confidant since Larys guided their companionable dinners into unholy transactions. What could a man want from her, if not her body? What could a woman, if not her secrets and station?
Tim would never do such a thing. The thought frightens as much as it comforts, when trust is a risk she should not take in times of war. It isn't like that here. He isn't. She means it when she praises his kindness, a virtue most lacking in the Red Keep. ]
I suppose I am as well as I can be, under the circumstances. [ she drags her vanity's stool before him, wanting for closeness. ] Better, for having company, though I do not know what to say.
[ Her hands twist in her lap, nails digging into her palms. ]
[ quieter, ] Her name is Rhaenyra.
[ That truth is owed, when she knows the pain in his heart by name. ]
[ Well as they can be, under the circumstances. That’s true enough, Tim’s not confident that he’s been doing well, exactly, since he got here, save for those blissful few weeks of cohabitation with hawk which are now, obviously, over. Even then, he’d been worried about wolf people and violence in the hallways. Nothing here has ever been normal or safe, but there are times that have felt close, and people he can be open and unguarded with. To have Alicent among them is a blessing, and if he wants anything from her, it’s that; a safe space in this confusing and horrible manor is much more desirable to him than power or secrets or sex. ]
Rhaenyra. [ The name sounds soft and sweet on his lips, as if Tim were holding affection for her himself, despite having never met her. ] You’ve met Hawk. On his best behavior, at least. Tell me about her.
[ His smile is gently conspiratorial, trying to lighten the mood. ]
[ At the mention of Hawk, her mouth quirks faintly, eyes lingering on his expression. Whatever could keep them apart, when they seemed so well-matched and at ease? It does not bode well for her own circumstances.
Even this innocent chatter seems sacrilegious to her, when Rhaenyra has been enemy, step-daughter, mother of bastards for so long. Yet Tim utters Rhaenyra's name like an old friend's, and it helps. ]
A charming statesman. [ a veiled observation, that. His political background had come through in his initial handling of her, long before they met in the flesh. As for Rhaenyra — ]
They named her the realm's delight for the joy she brought the people, her mother, and the king, who loved her above all others. [ including his second wife and their children. Fondly, ] She is spoilt as any prince and daring as the finest knights. [ with a wistful sigh, ] If she could have spent our girlhood on dragonback, never touching the ground to study or pray, she would have done.
[ He repeats back with awe, leaning forward with his elbows on his knees, his chin in his hands. Tim has learned already that her world is different from his own, but it sounds like a fairy tale, even still. Brave knights riding dragons, rebellious princesses, forbidden romance. It’s not a fantasy, clearly, Alicent and her feelings are real and right in front of him, but it’s so fantastical compared to his own more mundane version of it that he can’t help but be fascinated. ]
And she was allowed to do that, as a girl?
[ His sister wasn’t even allowed to ride horseback at summer camp. ]
[ Tim’s interest feels contagious, injecting long-dead memories with warmth. He sounds how she felt, watching Rhaenyra dismount, riding glove in her teeth. ]
As a princess, Tim. [ said much the same as keep up, teasing. Her voice lilts as she leans forward, giving into the story of it. Mayhaps that will make it easier to tell. She has never been able to speak of Rhaenyra with anyone before now. ] As a Targaryen — our most ancient and noble house, the blood of Old Valyria, of the dragons themselves — even the king could not stop her, though he oft tried.
[ He did not understand even then, she thinks, guided by his wife in his handling of her. ]
Against his orders, she once flew to face her mercurial uncle and his own beast, the red wyrm, bigger and faster than her she-dragon Syrax. [ Tall tales she once told her firstborn son, when she foolishly hoped he might love his half-sister as she did. ] I do not know how she averted battle, in truth. Mine own father failed to dissuade him from his position before her arrival.
[ Her throat bobs, suddenly thick with sentiment. ]
[ Smiling, not truly chastised. He tries to remember the names, all noble lines and far-off places he's never heard of, but wouldn't be mentioned were they not important. More striking, though, is the way Alicent talks about this woman, as if she were bragging, proud to be close to someone so daring, reckless or not. ]
Bold, and charismatic? [ They might have a similar type. ] You've known her since you were kids, right? Was she always like that?
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timeasmymeasure
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Date: 2024-08-26 09:25 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2024-08-26 09:34 pm (UTC)You are yourself, and that is no small victory.
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Date: 2024-08-26 09:40 pm (UTC)I hope that it isn't the same for you.
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Date: 2024-08-26 09:50 pm (UTC)[ for some, it is. ]
I do not believe you deserving of such hurt, if that is any comfort.
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Date: 2024-08-26 10:19 pm (UTC)What you want, does it want you back?
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Date: 2024-08-26 10:28 pm (UTC)[ the pursuit of pain. the relief and familiarity of it. ]
Any love she once felt for me has withered.
[ she. a slip-up. a confession. ]
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Date: 2024-08-26 10:57 pm (UTC)To know that she might have this same black hole in her, this endless pull of longing and foolish hopes that swallows the rest of her, takes that comfort right back. ]
Are you sure?
For me, it's not that the love is gone. He needs to hide it. But I can't.
[ He doesn't need to specify he, probably, but he chooses to. A trade of secrets, a comparison of bruises. ]
Is she here?
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Date: 2024-08-26 11:36 pm (UTC)is it harder, to see the love and be unable to grasp it — or to think it gone from this world forever? ]
I wish I could give you greater solace, at this impasse.
[ she understands the shame, the fear that plagues tim and hawk both. for it was her most gallant knight who crushed the knight of kisses’ skull. her own viperous tongue, which mocked ser laenor for his failure to give the princess children. there is no room in westeros for her treacherous heart. and nowhere else to go, when her role is there. when her sweet daughter — ]
Here or there, it matters not. When her mother died, her father took me to wife, and now my sons lay claim to the throne that might have been hers. Tell me thus: Would you love your enemy?
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Date: 2024-08-27 12:20 am (UTC)"Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you"
From the book of Matthew.
I don't think that the love we're talking about is as active a choice. We can only choose if we act on it.
If she were here, would you? Away from home, and the politics, and the scandal it would be?
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Date: 2024-08-27 11:27 am (UTC)but at least rhaenyra would know that she did not want this. ]
You may have the truth of it.
[ that they cannot choose whether to feel this love, only if they seize it. the last time she chose rhaenyra still chafes, with her foolishness — her father stripped of his station. if she were to do so again, she knows the price would be higher. an eye for an eye, a son for a son. ]
I thought I saw her the night of the wolf. The dream of a girl, seeking absolution.
I would go to her, if she appeared, although I do not know what that would entail. It has not been so simple for you and your love, even outwith the confines of your world.
[ why should it be for her? ]
no subject
Date: 2024-08-27 03:42 pm (UTC)He did choose to smile back at the handsome stranger on election night. He chose to give him his number in the park, he chose to open his door, let him touch him, awaken the enormity of the desire that Tim thought he had under control. He chose, he chose, he chose. Whether their souls had been woven together by God or by him, he’d wanted it, and he wants it still. ]
It hasn’t been simple, no. but I don’t regret that I tried. This was our best shot.
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Date: 2024-08-27 06:19 pm (UTC)I have said your heart is gentle before, Tim, but I fear I have neglected to note its bravery.
I’m sorry.
[ a beat. ]
Are you truly busy this night?
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Date: 2024-08-27 07:18 pm (UTC)[ What with the wolfman incident. No, that’s got nothing to do with his heart, necessarily, but he feels the need to downplay it. It doesn’t feel brave to abandon his suite and move into Koby’s, just so that he won’t have to face the traces of Hawk, or to spend a few hours losing himself in something meaningless at Otherworld, dirtying his soul just to distract from the ache. He feels small and weak, like keeping up the resolve to say no might be more painful than the next rejection, the next disappointment, the next lie. ]
No. I shouldn’t have lied, I’m sorry. I didn’t want you to see me like this.
[ Not brave. Not honorable, after the things he’d said in their fight. Self-indulgent in his misery and the pleasure he's chased to cleanse himself of it, to no avail. Not presentable. Or so he'd thought, until once again, they've revealed themselves to be more similar than should even be possible, considering the drastic differences in their experiences. ]
I can see you tonight. Since I've said too much already. You can tell me about her.
no subject
Date: 2024-08-27 07:43 pm (UTC)[ a laugh bubbles over, despite the tightness in her throat and wetness in her eyes. ]
I can only imagine she would frustrate you as she has vexed me. [ uncaring of the faith, the family, the law, and untouched by consequence. the realm’s delight. ] She would not countenance our studies or prayers unless I begged it of her.
[ and yet she kept the page rhaenyra tore from her book for decades, locked in a box beneath her bed. ]
Come to my rooms, when you’ve gathered yourself. I’ve quite the gentleman for a neighbour.
[ so they won’t be bothered, and tim won’t have to return to the space he shares with hawk. ]
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Date: 2024-08-27 09:32 pm (UTC)[ In general, at least. If he’d seen the things that Hawk had seen in the war, maybe he’d feel differently, but he saw the gore splashed across the sand on the night the wolfman attacked, he’d caved to the pressure to eat the cake that wasn’t cake, took a bite out of someone’s flesh without his knowledge. The horrible things are adding up, but his faith doesn’t waver. ]
Okay. I’ll be there in half an hour.
[ The room he shared with Hawk now sits abandoned by them both, Tim having been crashing with Koby ever since Hawk left, but despite Koby’s insistence that it’s completely fine, he’s resistant to inviting anyone else over there. He feels like he’s intruding enough as is. So, joining her suits him just fine.
He’ll knock on the door in roughly twenty-five minutes, clean and combed with his eyes free of tears, but the heaviness behind them can’t be as easily hidden. Tim is unshaven, and has been for the last week or so. Trying something new, classic breakup hair change, don’t worry about it. ]
Hey, Alicent.
[ Softly. With new understanding and new vulnerability alike. ]
no subject
Date: 2024-09-02 03:35 pm (UTC)Tim's delay seems a blessing for her composure until she opens her door and sees him truly for the first time, heart stuttering in her chest. None have ever heard her plight, let alone understood it. Looking at his unshaven face and red-rimmed eyes, she wishes it remained that way, even as she finds herself impossibly grateful for his companionship.
For her part, the bruised hue under her eyes, blossoming in sleepless nights, gives away her distress, as does her own rumpled appearance. A frilly nightdress where she ought to have dressed for a vistor. Loose waves when she usually favours intricate style, tidy and proper. A startled expression, too, as though she can't believe he came (or that they conversed about all she has kept inside for so long). ]
Oh, Tim. [ Alicent embraces him before propriety can prevent her from ever reaching out, leaning up on the balls of her heeled feet to throw her arms around his neck. He's too tall. Everyone is, even her sons. ]
no subject
Date: 2024-09-02 05:00 pm (UTC)Tim lifts her off her feet just a little so that the effort to bridge the height difference is his, not hers. A thank you, an opening up just a little more, all in the flex of his arms. When he finally lets go, there’s still red around his eyes and wetness in the corners that his glasses can’t obscure, but there’s a smile, too. It’s always been dangerous to let himself be known too well, but despite the ache in both of them, it feels like a gulp of air after nearly drowning. Relief, community, and faith. ]
Thank you. Let’s get inside.
[ Tim is dressed casually, instead of in his nightclothes, but a warm embrace in the doorway might still give someone the wrong idea. ]
no subject
Date: 2024-09-03 03:14 pm (UTC)Tim has more kindness in his heart than either of her boys, besides. It shows in the startled warmth on his face, the pleasing quirk of his mouth. She lingers only to right the crooked angle of his glasses, knocked askew by her haphazardness outreach. ]
Of course. [ She has forgotten all, manners and decorum swallowed by the newness of her ache acknowledged, not subsumed. ] Come in.
[ Her hand finds his arm, tugging him after her. On sight, Alicent’s rooms share her sense of displacement. All dark jewel tones and intricate designs, belonging to an older world. A tapestry hangs from the wall bordering the bathroom, the twisting branches of a thick tree reaching toward the ceiling. At its roots, a stately armchair sits. The vanity opposite her bed must be an antique, bronzed with age. Atop it, jewellery and hairpins are finely organised in decorative boxes and gilded trays — only the emerald-laden tiara stands apart, perching atop the dark oak and catching the flickering candlelight.
Her window looks onto the gardens, rounded windows flung open so she might feel the relief of the night air. The rumpled pillow and blanket at the window seat suggest that’s where she passed the last half hour, when her four poster bed remains neatly made. Perhaps more telling is the packet of cigarettes and glass of red wine on the windowsill. An freshly uncorked bottle sits on the nightstand. ]
Sit, sit. [ A beat. ] You know, I have never entertained without maids to fetch the tea. I suppose I could duck into the hall —
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Date: 2024-09-09 03:29 pm (UTC)And yet, despite his tendency and even his desire to wallow in it, he can’t help but feel some relief with her smiling up at him, reaching up to straighten his glasses and pull him inside. The space suits her more than Tim’s current situation (hiding in Koby’s room) suits him, makes him wonder briefly if he’ll ever be brave enough to go back to his own room, purge it of Hawk’s influence and make it his own again. That landmine of dark thoughts is just barely avoided by Alicent’s offer. ]
Oh, no, you don’t need to do that. [ He waves the suggestion away, casual, as he finds a seat for himself. ] It’s late, I don’t need anything. I just wanted to see you. Make sure that you’re...okay?
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Date: 2024-09-12 02:54 pm (UTC)Tim would never do such a thing. The thought frightens as much as it comforts, when trust is a risk she should not take in times of war. It isn't like that here. He isn't. She means it when she praises his kindness, a virtue most lacking in the Red Keep. ]
I suppose I am as well as I can be, under the circumstances. [ she drags her vanity's stool before him, wanting for closeness. ] Better, for having company, though I do not know what to say.
[ Her hands twist in her lap, nails digging into her palms. ]
[ quieter, ] Her name is Rhaenyra.
[ That truth is owed, when she knows the pain in his heart by name. ]
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Date: 2024-09-12 03:50 pm (UTC)Rhaenyra. [ The name sounds soft and sweet on his lips, as if Tim were holding affection for her himself, despite having never met her. ] You’ve met Hawk. On his best behavior, at least. Tell me about her.
[ His smile is gently conspiratorial, trying to lighten the mood. ]
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Date: 2024-09-12 04:51 pm (UTC)Even this innocent chatter seems sacrilegious to her, when Rhaenyra has been enemy, step-daughter, mother of bastards for so long. Yet Tim utters Rhaenyra's name like an old friend's, and it helps. ]
A charming statesman. [ a veiled observation, that. His political background had come through in his initial handling of her, long before they met in the flesh. As for Rhaenyra — ]
They named her the realm's delight for the joy she brought the people, her mother, and the king, who loved her above all others. [ including his second wife and their children. Fondly, ] She is spoilt as any prince and daring as the finest knights. [ with a wistful sigh, ] If she could have spent our girlhood on dragonback, never touching the ground to study or pray, she would have done.
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Date: 2024-09-13 09:11 pm (UTC)[ He repeats back with awe, leaning forward with his elbows on his knees, his chin in his hands. Tim has learned already that her world is different from his own, but it sounds like a fairy tale, even still. Brave knights riding dragons, rebellious princesses, forbidden romance. It’s not a fantasy, clearly, Alicent and her feelings are real and right in front of him, but it’s so fantastical compared to his own more mundane version of it that he can’t help but be fascinated. ]
And she was allowed to do that, as a girl?
[ His sister wasn’t even allowed to ride horseback at summer camp. ]
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Date: 2024-09-13 09:38 pm (UTC)As a princess, Tim. [ said much the same as keep up, teasing. Her voice lilts as she leans forward, giving into the story of it. Mayhaps that will make it easier to tell. She has never been able to speak of Rhaenyra with anyone before now. ] As a Targaryen — our most ancient and noble house, the blood of Old Valyria, of the dragons themselves — even the king could not stop her, though he oft tried.
[ He did not understand even then, she thinks, guided by his wife in his handling of her. ]
Against his orders, she once flew to face her mercurial uncle and his own beast, the red wyrm, bigger and faster than her she-dragon Syrax. [ Tall tales she once told her firstborn son, when she foolishly hoped he might love his half-sister as she did. ] I do not know how she averted battle, in truth. Mine own father failed to dissuade him from his position before her arrival.
[ Her throat bobs, suddenly thick with sentiment. ]
She — has a way about her.
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Date: 2024-09-14 12:26 am (UTC)[ Smiling, not truly chastised. He tries to remember the names, all noble lines and far-off places he's never heard of, but wouldn't be mentioned were they not important. More striking, though, is the way Alicent talks about this woman, as if she were bragging, proud to be close to someone so daring, reckless or not. ]
Bold, and charismatic? [ They might have a similar type. ] You've known her since you were kids, right? Was she always like that?
cw: child/underage marriage
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