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[holyposition]

WELCOME TO THE SALTBURNT NETWORK

USERNAME:
t.laughlin

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[holyposition]

Not yet. But he's taking me out for my birthday. I can wait a couple days.

[kobes]

okay damn what are you catholic now?
glutton for punishment
hope he's worth it.

you seen anyone else since we arrived?

[holyposition]

He's a romantic and the hottest man in the manor. If he wants to woo me for a special occasion, I'm gonna let him.

Harry. And Quentin, kind of. To throw my parents off Harry's trail. I don't think it's working.

[kobes]

what's the catch. there's always a catch.
is he like super into some weird kink?
is he married? is his dick small????

no because your dad's a bloodhound of disapproval and generational emotional repression. and you're suspicious when youre being sweet.

[holyposition]

I hope so, widowed, and I've zoomed in on enough short tennis shorts to know he's not.

I'm not being sweet. Maybe I'm being a gold digging whore.

[kobes]

oh, hes got trauma!!!! i love a widower 😍😍😍 gonna let him cry into your manly bosom a little maybe????

you're so sweet you give me cavities baby teo~
but youre also a whore because you contain multitudes, bitch. its the new millennium you can be whoever you want

[holyposition]

If the dick's good, he can cry wherever he wants 😢

don't tell anyone but im kind of excited

[kobes]

if i talk to him i'll be sure to mention how tear-absorbent your tits are~

awwwwww, you big softie
maybe he WILL domesticate you, huh?

[holyposition]

He's probably seen them, baby k

God i hope so

wait nvm

I read that as dominate

[kobes]

a little reinforcement always works. god knows you don't need a wingman but if i dont get involved in mess i die 😞

both. he can do both. domesticate dominate put u in a little apron and bend u over the table
do it for the sluts timoteo!!!!!!!

[holyposition]

I dont need a wingman, I've already got him. it'll just look desperate

oooooh, yes. please, Mr. Fuller, come put a bun in my hot little oven 🥵

[kobes]

awwwwwwwww c'mon
i won't even try to get him to sign anything
for like a day

please send him that
please
i'll steal your phone and send it for you

[holyposition]

Dont pitch him on any bullshit, I don't want him running off

do not. i need at least 3 drinks before I start begging for creampies

[kobes]

it's not bullshit!!





okay it's bullshit but i'm desperate 😤😤😤

3 whole drinks? my baby is all grown up and developing a filter 🥹

[holyposition]

Dibs counts for bullshit and sex

I knowwwww i have to go back to catholic school im losing my slutty edge

[kobes]

that is NOT in the rules
fine after he rocks your world or whatever, then 😒😒😒

you could become a hot priest maybe
does that take long?

[holyposition]

I'll let you know how it goes

And take a vow of celibacy? can you imagine?

[kobes]

spare no details or else 😠😠😠

ew. i think you'd shrivel up and die after 3 days
longer than me though ive been here that long and i've barely done anything except fuck.

[holyposition]

You got it

Anyone fun?

[kobes]

unless it sucks, then make something up.

oh, the usual. my therapist, the newlyweds, harry, the hot dads, etc

[holyposition]

Your therapist is hot. Is he taking new clients?

Which hot dads?

[kobes]

i'll ask next time my mouth's empty ig
you might be a lost cause, babe

not yours ayooooo
ani's ex. met him when me and his son went to the same school for five minutes.

[holyposition]

Really making some breakthroughs, huh?

Which one is that....

[kobes]

oh yeah, really unpacking the root of my antisocial behavior

fp jones.

[holyposition]

I don't think it takes a medical degree. Alvida's a bitch, the end.

Was it good?