[there's a long pause, not because he's thinking it over, but because there's so much at stake here, and he's still not sure this is the right decision. except - maybe he already knew the moment he picked up the phone what was going to happen all along, that this was inevitable no matter how many times they've both tried to push each other away.]
I love you, Tim.
We'll keep going slow. But knowing - it's not gone for good, Christ, that helps.
[there's a heavy exhale, hawk letting all the tension of the fight that didn't come to fruition flood out of him. fuck - it feels good.]
I've always cared. And I'm sorry I didn't always show it, either. I did that for both of you - and I'll keep at it.
[ A moment's hesitation, as he recovers from the whiplash of it. Wanting him and wanting him despite his protests that he doesn't want him back, the lying to himself and everybody else that all but Tim himself could see through - only for Hawk to be the one pushing back. It rattles him, reminds him of that stupid, unanswered letter.
It's not easy, reminding himself that this Hawk hasn't thrown it in the trash yet, that he's not married yet, that those years haven't happened. He'd rather they had, so Hawk wouldn't have to know what death feels like twice over. But this way is...more hopeful. It feels like there's a chance for them that doesn't exist back home. ]
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timeasmymeasure
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Date: 2025-12-29 01:13 am (UTC)I love you, Tim.
We'll keep going slow. But knowing - it's not gone for good, Christ, that helps.
[there's a heavy exhale, hawk letting all the tension of the fight that didn't come to fruition flood out of him. fuck - it feels good.]
I've always cared. And I'm sorry I didn't always show it, either. I did that for both of you - and I'll keep at it.
...So now will you say yes to dinner with me?
no subject
Date: 2025-12-29 02:18 am (UTC)[ A moment's hesitation, as he recovers from the whiplash of it. Wanting him and wanting him despite his protests that he doesn't want him back, the lying to himself and everybody else that all but Tim himself could see through - only for Hawk to be the one pushing back. It rattles him, reminds him of that stupid, unanswered letter.
It's not easy, reminding himself that this Hawk hasn't thrown it in the trash yet, that he's not married yet, that those years haven't happened. He'd rather they had, so Hawk wouldn't have to know what death feels like twice over. But this way is...more hopeful. It feels like there's a chance for them that doesn't exist back home. ]
Yeah. We can go to dinner. How's tomorrow?