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[holyposition]

WELCOME TO THE SALTBURNT NETWORK

USERNAME:
t.laughlin

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[holyposition]

'Almost' doing a lot of heavy lifting, I assume.

Good luck, I guess. At this point, you're more invested in the place than I am.

[kobes]

always does, baby t
i can dress up fancy but trash is trash

yeah no duh
cause you already got it
obvi u aren't gonna give a fuck about what's already yours

[holyposition]

I was gonna say alternative.

I’ve told you before, i don’t want it.

You know what I do want though? To cash in my daddy dibs. The tennis guy’s mine.

[kobes]

that's cause beneath your cosmic bitch exterior youre a sweetheart, teo~

yeah, i remember. [the great irony of their friendship: everything timoteo has, koby wants, but will never have.]

damn, already?? we been here two days, t.

[holyposition]

[ And teo would do anything to be free from this. He should have given him better advice on seducing his dad, maybe they have traded. ]

<3

Well a) have you seen him?

And b) we’ve met before.

[kobes]

[at least he still has a hot uncle, hope is not lost]

a) yeah he looks like a hallmark movie about a guy who sells christmas trees and the meaning of the season. baby birds tweet and little lambs frolic about when he passes by. 🙄🙄🙄🙄

b) WHAT who is he when where

[holyposition]

You are sooooo annoyinggggggg know your queerstory

That's Hawkins Fuller. One of the first real star athletes to come out. I jerked off to his Men's Health cover like ten years ago.

[kobes]

i dont read, teo, you know that

hope you opened with that the first time you met "hi thanks for the sexual awakening".

[holyposition]

Oh my GOD he was not! That was Jeff goldblum in jurassic park.

[kobes]

riiiiight the nerdiest awakening in the entire world, how could i forget?

[holyposition]

listen. when I was 12 it seemed really important for a man to take a t Rex bite for me.

Also he was hot. Still is!

[kobes]

oh yeah, that's a big concern on italian vineyards, i hear. top priority.

how bout hawkins fuller the tennis gay icon? would he take a dinosaur bite for you?

[holyposition]

too soon to tell. maybe? I can tell he's really into me.

[kobes]

well yeah, he's a guy with eyes.





has he been like





REALLY into you?
😏😏😏

[holyposition]

Not yet. But he's taking me out for my birthday. I can wait a couple days.

[kobes]

okay damn what are you catholic now?
glutton for punishment
hope he's worth it.

you seen anyone else since we arrived?

[holyposition]

He's a romantic and the hottest man in the manor. If he wants to woo me for a special occasion, I'm gonna let him.

Harry. And Quentin, kind of. To throw my parents off Harry's trail. I don't think it's working.

[kobes]

what's the catch. there's always a catch.
is he like super into some weird kink?
is he married? is his dick small????

no because your dad's a bloodhound of disapproval and generational emotional repression. and you're suspicious when youre being sweet.

[holyposition]

I hope so, widowed, and I've zoomed in on enough short tennis shorts to know he's not.

I'm not being sweet. Maybe I'm being a gold digging whore.

[kobes]

oh, hes got trauma!!!! i love a widower 😍😍😍 gonna let him cry into your manly bosom a little maybe????

you're so sweet you give me cavities baby teo~
but youre also a whore because you contain multitudes, bitch. its the new millennium you can be whoever you want

[holyposition]

If the dick's good, he can cry wherever he wants 😢

don't tell anyone but im kind of excited

[kobes]

if i talk to him i'll be sure to mention how tear-absorbent your tits are~

awwwwww, you big softie
maybe he WILL domesticate you, huh?

[holyposition]

He's probably seen them, baby k

God i hope so

wait nvm

I read that as dominate

[kobes]

a little reinforcement always works. god knows you don't need a wingman but if i dont get involved in mess i die 😞

both. he can do both. domesticate dominate put u in a little apron and bend u over the table
do it for the sluts timoteo!!!!!!!

[holyposition]

I dont need a wingman, I've already got him. it'll just look desperate

oooooh, yes. please, Mr. Fuller, come put a bun in my hot little oven 🥵