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[holyposition]

WELCOME TO THE SALTBURNT NETWORK

USERNAME:
t.laughlin

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[holyposition]

What? Why?

Of course I am. Might even slip in some mischeif under their noses.

[kobes]

hungover as FUCK, went into the bathroom, he was in the shower
didn't realize these suites were CONNECTED.

oh fuck yeah what're you wearing?
i dunno how to dress to classy things.

also psa ur dad haaaaaaaaAAAAAAaaaates me. 😇😇😇

[holyposition]

I don't know yet. It's cocktail attire, but he invited me to be slutty, so. Let's go shopping.

Yeah, he told me. Oh well?

[kobes]

omg me too. we'll have to coordinate.
okay deal all my clothes are trashy party, not cocktail slutty party.

can't make an omelet without cracking a few dads 😞😞😞 shouldn't have mentioned the business shit.

[holyposition]

Dress trousers, but a shiny shirt. Open an extra button or two.

Told you to lead with mom.

[kobes]

slut, love it. anything underneath?

yeah well, i'm already fucked, who cares if i burn a few more bridges.
though does your dad hating me mean your mom'll be more likely to listen to me?

[holyposition]

Maybe a necklace. But the peek of chest hair usually gets me whatever I want, so it stays.

...maybe. She's a spiteful person. But you'll need to come with an actual plan.

[kobes]

hot, we'll match. i'm wearing some sparkly expensive thing, makes me look almost respectable 😝

i got proposals out the ass, i'll open with the pdf and spreadsheets for your mom. cared more about seeing how quick i could make your dad mad.

[holyposition]

'Almost' doing a lot of heavy lifting, I assume.

Good luck, I guess. At this point, you're more invested in the place than I am.

[kobes]

always does, baby t
i can dress up fancy but trash is trash

yeah no duh
cause you already got it
obvi u aren't gonna give a fuck about what's already yours

[holyposition]

I was gonna say alternative.

I’ve told you before, i don’t want it.

You know what I do want though? To cash in my daddy dibs. The tennis guy’s mine.

[kobes]

that's cause beneath your cosmic bitch exterior youre a sweetheart, teo~

yeah, i remember. [the great irony of their friendship: everything timoteo has, koby wants, but will never have.]

damn, already?? we been here two days, t.

[holyposition]

[ And teo would do anything to be free from this. He should have given him better advice on seducing his dad, maybe they have traded. ]

<3

Well a) have you seen him?

And b) we’ve met before.

[kobes]

[at least he still has a hot uncle, hope is not lost]

a) yeah he looks like a hallmark movie about a guy who sells christmas trees and the meaning of the season. baby birds tweet and little lambs frolic about when he passes by. 🙄🙄🙄🙄

b) WHAT who is he when where

[holyposition]

You are sooooo annoyinggggggg know your queerstory

That's Hawkins Fuller. One of the first real star athletes to come out. I jerked off to his Men's Health cover like ten years ago.

[kobes]

i dont read, teo, you know that

hope you opened with that the first time you met "hi thanks for the sexual awakening".

[holyposition]

Oh my GOD he was not! That was Jeff goldblum in jurassic park.

[kobes]

riiiiight the nerdiest awakening in the entire world, how could i forget?

[holyposition]

listen. when I was 12 it seemed really important for a man to take a t Rex bite for me.

Also he was hot. Still is!

[kobes]

oh yeah, that's a big concern on italian vineyards, i hear. top priority.

how bout hawkins fuller the tennis gay icon? would he take a dinosaur bite for you?

[holyposition]

too soon to tell. maybe? I can tell he's really into me.

[kobes]

well yeah, he's a guy with eyes.





has he been like





REALLY into you?
😏😏😏

[holyposition]

Not yet. But he's taking me out for my birthday. I can wait a couple days.

[kobes]

okay damn what are you catholic now?
glutton for punishment
hope he's worth it.

you seen anyone else since we arrived?

[holyposition]

He's a romantic and the hottest man in the manor. If he wants to woo me for a special occasion, I'm gonna let him.

Harry. And Quentin, kind of. To throw my parents off Harry's trail. I don't think it's working.