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[holyposition]

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t.laughlin

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[holyposition]

Because it makes people more affectionate and less reasonable. I've been there.

Yeah, he did. We just talked.

[mygoodsir]

I don't understand, but I don't have to. I will not engage in relations with him.

Did it help assure you that you are finished with him?

[holyposition]

Thank you.

it didn't help.

[mygoodsir]

You miss him?

[holyposition]

I've loved him for six years. It's been what, six weeks? Of course I do.

[mygoodsir]

Of course, my apologies.

You must try not to pay attention to whom he is seeing, though. It is no longer your business.

[holyposition]

I know. But he thinks it's his business who I'm with. I need to not stoop to his level but I'm finding it really difficult.

I got drunk on Thanksgiving and shared too much and promised to make Embry a cane like yours
Sorry.
Got any requests now that I have better tools?

[mygoodsir]

I know. But if you give it attention it will only hurt you more.

It's quite alright. I can't say that I'm thrilled to have my personal affairs public knowledge, but the house has seen to that quite thoroughly already anyway.

I hope Embry enjoys it.

Goodness, Tim, you've spoiled me so much already. I'll never say no to any other tools you'd submit to. Paddles?

[holyposition]

He can keep a secret. Not that it's much of one, after voyeur. He's not judging, though. We share those kinds of tastes.

And I would submit to anything in your hand. It should still be to your liking. I can do paddles. That should be easier, the biggest challenge with the cane is making it sturdy.

[mygoodsir]

That's lovely!

You did very well. Honestly, Tim, I would cherish anything you made me. It means a great deal.

[holyposition]

Maybe I'll turn it on you one of these days :)

[mygoodsir]

Would you like to?

[holyposition]

I think I'd want to try so I can understand what you get out of it. If you want me to.

[mygoodsir]

I think we ought to do it, then.

One of the many things I love about you is that we can experiment. If it goes poorly it is not the end of our relationship.

[holyposition]

Why would anyone leave over it being bad one time?

[mygoodsir]

I don't know. I've never been in a relationship before you. But people seem rather dramatic.

[holyposition]

Maybe if it was a first time. But not if it's us. If it doesn't work, we can stop and just cuddle.

[mygoodsir]

Brilliant.

I love you so, Timothy Laughlin. Even when things are difficult, I pray you remember that.

[holyposition]

I love you too. Especially when things are hard and you're there for me anyway.

he helped me through a stigmata attack. I didn't ask him to, he just showed up.

[mygoodsir]

I wasn't there. I'm so sorry.

[He can't ask why Tim didn't call. It isn't fair to either of them.]

[holyposition]

It's okay. I'm sorry. I should have called.

[mygoodsir]

No, Tim. I know that you're hardly in any state to do so when it happens.

Was there a trigger for it?

[holyposition]

I was on the phone with Hawk. That's how he knew to rush over.

[mygoodsir]

I see.

[holyposition]

[ It's a cold response. He'd rather face fury than that. If Harry were angry, it would make sense, he could fit it into his neat boxes of sin and punishment and find a way through it. If he were glad, he could make that make sense too, an outcome where everyone is happy and Tim doesn't forbid him from sleeping with Hawk is something he could see Harrry wanting. This quiet acceptance isn't something he knows what to do with. ]

I was calling to tell him I can't go to dinner. If I was going to reject him, I thought he at least deserved that much.

Is that okay?